Kid Rock is no Mr. Spock

It surprised no one that Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock split last week after a four month sprint of a marriage. I'm sure everyone was hoping the "irreconcilable differences" included Kazakh journalist Borat Sagdiyev who, in the hit movie of the fall, traveled long and hard to pursue the former Baywatch star.

Now that would be surprising because Borat is a fictional character. Anyway, in the movie, the sort of real Pamela Anderson rejected the really fake Borat's advances with a stern rebuff appropriate for a married women, before fleeing in pure, manufactured terror at the sight of Borat's ominous "wife sack."

But, surprise, apparently it was Borat that spelled the end for the couple who share long blond hair and a history of being photographed topless. According to the New York Post, Kid Rock flipped out after seeing a screening of the Borat movie:

"(Kid Rock) started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' - in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing."

So Kid Rock marries a woman whose typed name can act as a portal into the world of pornography -- some starring herself -- but concludes she is a "whore" and a "slut" after watching her performance in a movie where the closest thing to sex is a disturbing wrestling match between two naked men.

And slowly the bind between celebrities and logic unravels.

Borat elicits more cultural analysis

David Brooks is the latest commentator to attribute our fascination with the Borat movie to wanting to be on the side of the condescending "snobs" who are in on the joke, and not be among the unsophisticated "goobers" who fall victim to Borat's "rube baiting."

Part of the argument being that no one can possibly believe a character with Borat's bizarre customs and archaic attitudes exists anywhere in the world of 2006.

I tend to think the scenarios Sacha Cohen presents as Borat are so ridiculous and clever the "victim" doesn't need to completely accept Borat's authenticity to create a funny result. I also believe a lot of the "rubes" aren't really buying Borat 100 percent, but they put their suspicions aside because they are polite and, no matter what, they'll have a funny story about a strange foreigner to tell their friends and family. Still I do think Brooks may be onto something about Borat's widespread appeal.

Is the behavior of Borat, who supposedly hails from Kazakhstan, so far-fetched it disqualifies him from reality? Yesterday, the parliament of Pakistan passed legislation that will allow rape victims to seek justice without the need of four male witnesses.

Previously, if a woman pursued a rape charge without these witnesses (to the actual crime) she would expose herself to a charge of adultery. In certain parts of Pakistan the punishment for adultery is death by stoning.

While these harsh sentences are rare, they are not without recent precedent.

Lest anyone think these laws are relics from an era long-bygone, Pakistan, the sixth largest country in the world, created this rape racket in 1979.

Borat would be sad to see this law go. But the fact it only just went is proof a character with Borat's cavalier attitude towards rape, among other things, isn't so far-fetched.

Being tricked by Borat is different than the alien abductions scenarios Brooks refers to his column. In the hit movie Borat convinces a driving instructor that, in his country, you don't need consent from a woman to have sex with her.

The driving instructor might have his 'stans mixed up, but was he really a "rube" when he took Borat at his word?

Snap judgement: The Borat Movie

Sacha Baron Cohen's smash hit Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan was able to dominate the news cycle in the run up to its release. It has been in the spotlight ever since, lately with a report that Cohen, in Borat character, was assaulted in New York, and with the news of lawsuits both tricked Eastern European villagers and fooled American frat boys are bringing against the film's producers. (We're not that different after all!)

There has also been a parade of ruminations from reviewers and public intellectuals on what the movie and the movie's success means: Are Americans gullible fools? Could there be pogroms in the "exceptional" USA? Is the whole thing a joke, and the laugh is on the red states?

I watched the hilarious film last night and can report that not only aren't these questions answered but they aren't even addressed. Anyone who says otherwise either didn't see the movie -- but did see the harder-edged Borat sketches on the Ali G show -- or brought their own preconceived notions into the film and didn't bother to consider what was happening on the screen.

The only broad conclusion I could draw from Borat, the movie, is Americans are very tolerant of a foreigner and his odd customs until those odd customs breach human decency, and then they begin to lose patience with the customs and the foreigner. Not exactly an earth shattering revelation.

The film did contain one truly shocking scene involving a prolonged, very naked wrestling match between Cohen and his rotund male co-star. Even if you know it's coming and expect the worst, you will not be prepared for what goes on. I always thought the hands-over-the-eyes move was an affected one. Now I know it can be an uncontrollable impulse.

Cohen is doubly blessed as a wit and as a fearless physical comedian. He leans heavily on the latter in Borat's feature film debut. It's not necessarily a bad thing: If the film's ratio of laughs to minutes was any higher, the audience would have trouble breathing.

Actually the dumb-downed Borat's success in America and everywhere else does suggest something surprising: If properly marketed, a remake of The Three Stooges could also strike world-wide box-office gold.

If properly made, it could be pretty darn funny too.

Wherever Borat goes, comedy is sure to follow

Shades of Bill Buckner.

Kazakhstan deep in a hole

When I first come across Borat, the intrepid but satirical Kazakhstani journalist and star of Da Ali G Show, I assumed his country of origin was also fictional.

And why not? "Kazakhstan" is a humorous amalgamation of an ex-Soviet Republic and an ubiquitous Central Asian "stan." For good measure it even sounds a lot like a real country in the Caspian region.

When I realized Kazakhstan is that country in the Caspian region I thought to myself "they aren't going to be happy with this Borat guy."

Reason being Borat, who is played by British comic Sacha Baron Cohen, proudly represents Kazakhstan as nation where homosexuals are forced to wear blue hats, Gypsies beaten, farm animals molested, Jews tossed down wells and universal suffrage ignores women, but includes horses.

Once the government of Kazakhstan caught wind of this act they threatened legal action against Cohen. Who, in turn, kept his alter ego separate from himself and stated "I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my government's position to sue this Jew."

Cohen's clever retort got far more attention than the original protest from Kazakhstan -- which by all estimations is one of the most backwards nations in the world.

Kazakhstan's public relations nightmare will reach a crescendo in November when the feature film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is released.

Reaction to early screenings suggests it could be the comedy hit of the year. In an attempt to preempt the damage the government of Kazakhstan will take out a four page advertisement in the New York Times exalting their nation's virtues. There has also been discussion of a summit with President Bush to figure out ways Kazakhstan can improve its sullied reputation in the United States.

What baffles me about this is Kazakhstan is a predominately Muslim country. Haven't they learned from their Muslim brothers the proper way to protest an infidel they find insulting is to threaten said infidel's life?

That actually gets results, unlike throwing money at the New York Times or whining to President Bush.

While it could be Cohen ends up showing more spine than your typical Western newspaper editor or German opera director or Vicer of Christ it's worth a shot, isn't it?

Through Borat, Americans know the hobbies of the Kazakhstani include disco dancing, archery, rape, and table tennis.

It's too bad for the people Kazakhstan -- and the reputation of their proud land -- their government doesn't make it a hobby to get with the program.