Realdoll to have comming out party

This Friday the much-anticipated film Lars and the Real Girl will open in select cities. The movie stars indie darling Ryan Gosling and a RealDoll-- the life-sized sex doll made from the finest silicon and a QVC skeleton with fully positionable steel joints.

From what I can gather after viewing the trailer, Lars is a lonely guy who orders a Realdoll and, to the horror of his family, introduces it around town as his girlfriend.

Then, for some reason, a medical professional with, ostensibly, credentials, tells Lars's brother and sister-in-law that their best course of action is to humor Lars's delusion. Which, for some reason, the whole town does.

I don't think I'm either going out on a limb or giving too much away when I tell you the movie closes with everybody learning what love really is.

But if you are a Realdoll owner -- or intend on shelling out at least 6,000 dollars for one -- please don't think it will only be bittersweet music and understanding when you introduce your Realdoll to real life.

Take the case of Charlie Sheen. It is being reported in today's Daily News Sheen bought a Realdoll back when he was working on Spin City. Of course, being Charlie Sheen, he dressed the doll up as a cheerleader and violated it heartily. Then things got a little testy when he took two party girls back to his place and proposed a four-way involving his new silicon friend with the multi-pleated skirt.

I'll let the Daily News's "snitch" describe the rest:

They couldn't stop laughing at him. Charlie got so mad that he ran the girls out of his house. Then he took a meat cleaver and chopped one of the doll's hands off. He and his bodyguard tried to dispose of it, like it was a real body. They wrapped it in a blanket and drove around in the middle of the night till they found a Dumpster.

Now those following Charlie Sheen's nasty divorce from Denise Richards -- the one full of emails mocking cancer victims for being bald, and accusations involving gay kiddie porn -- might be doubting the validity of the source.

But I'm thinking nobody would make up such a ridiculous tale. Before this Friday that is.

Japan is weird part 739

In Japan air sex is the new air guitar. At least that's what the English show Japanorama claims. Since I don't understand Japanese I can't be entirely sure there isn't some sort of tomfoolery going on in the translation.

But I can't really think of any other plausible explanation for the very clear and disturbing visuals presented. And the taunting claim that many of these air sex hobbyists have never had proper intercourse seems to be confirmed, again, by the visuals.

I will put my foot down and vehemently disagree with the Japanese fellow who declares air sex to be the happy medium between not having sex and having sex with an actual woman. No, that happy medium would be the anatomically-correct life-sized silicon sex doll. Which I hear are also quite popular in Japan.