Wow, you smell just like me!

If the world began with Adam and Eve, it could end with Pete and Amy.

More pics of the toxic twosome.

The case for getting pets high

It's gotten to the point, with the British authority's comical inability to properly arrest and process junkie rock figure Pete Doherty, that Kate Moss's on-again off-again boyfriend could probably shoot up on the steps of Buckingham Palace without legal sanction.

But he is in a different kind of hot water today after the Daily Star tabloid screamed the headline "Doherty Cat Hooked On Crack." It seems one of the litter just born to Doherty's adult cat had fallen ill, and was rushed to the animal hospital where tests revealed the presence of cocaine in the kitten's blood stream.

It isn't known whether this positive test was the lingering result of a cocaine habit the kitten's mother had, or if the little fella got into Doherty's stash post-natally. And I'm not going to defend Doherty's behavior -- you shouldn't give crack to an expectant cat or a days old kitten just like you shouldn't give the drug to a human newborn or that 15-year old pregnant runaway you found on the side of the road.

But let's take a moment to discuss recreational drug use among mentally sound adult pets. Think of the thrill your dog gets when you give him a little piece of steak off your plate. Now just imagine how fast his tail would wag if you gave him a little line of coke off your mirror.

Look, I've been in rooms where the occupants' leafy exhale has clearly gotten into the system of Fido over in the corner. You know what a dog does when he is stoned off of the pot? He lays there half asleep -- just like he would be doing anyway -- only now the eyes are a little redder and he seems a lot more content.

Not that there aren't special considerations when getting your pet lifted. You have to take into account the lesser species always need less to get high than humans do. Or, as I always like to say, there is only one way to do smack with a hamster: Carefully.

You don't allow a seven-year old to drink beer not because a seven-year old wouldn't like the feeling of being drunk -- why do you think the swing set and the merry-go-around are such playground staples? You don't allow it because it is irresponsible to encourage a young person down a path towards addiction.

On the other hand, besides the guide dog or the carrier pigeon, pets have absolutely nothing to do with their lives. Who cares if Iggie the Iguana develops a debilitating five pill a day ecstasy habit? It's not like anyone was expecting Iggie to eventually find a job and feed, bath and shelter himself.

Pets can provide friendship, love and companionship. And, if you remain mindful of their limitations, pets can also be the best and most loyal party buddy you've ever had.

Pete Doherty sells more drugs than Pfizer

This is a video of rock star and famous junkie Pete Doherty shooting drugs in a Thai hotel room. Before the video begins The Sun, a British tabloid, runs the disclaimer "anyone thinking of taking drugs should watch this video to see the damage drugs can do to your life."

Then the video disappoints mightily, if you're into proper depictions of the damage drugs can do to your life. Instead you see Doherty methodically doing his thing in a clean, crisp hotel room as two girls, who are cute for girls with digitally removed faces, move about. Later Doherty speaks on the phone with his girlfriend, long-time icon of international beauty Kate Moss. You hear the smooth sounds of Gorillaz in the background. Briefly, Doherty sings along.

Not to be outdone by the hysterical disclaimer, the video ends with this printed messaged: "To help avoid the horror you’ve just seen call __."

It is possible horror means something different in England than it does in the United States. Something more casual and less horrible -- like the way the Brits use the cringy word "cunt" when our Yankee sensibilities call for a simple "bitch."

But that doesn't really explain it. The only way there could have been a less horrific depiction of heroin use is if, at some point, an overeager puppy romped with a playful baby chimpanzee.

Full disclosure: I am wrestling with the possibility the horrible and pointless death of my favorite race horse has temporarily altered my perspective on all things horrific.

I wanna be wanna be wanna be Jim Morrison

I am loathe to admit any nation is superior to ours in any way, and I hate to bring this up during the week of our declaration of independence from the crown 230 years ago, but there are a couple things the British do really well.

For starters, the whole music thing. Rock and roll came from America, but the British quickly surpassed us and forty years later they still dominate -- kind of like the Japanese with the computers, only the Brits never bubbled out and stopped practicing their chords because they'd rather spend their time on the subway groping school girls.

I'm also beginning to realize the British are much better than us at the celebrity gossip. This is not a big surprise, since the British were having sex scandals when we were still airbrushing belly buttons from department store catalogs (and now we gaze at and contemplate the navel, ha-ha-ha.)

This is not intended to be a knock against our current celebrities, who do crazy things like marry each other and have babies -- sometimes in far away lands, to keep the masses entertained.

Not to mention Lindsay Lohan's fascinating breasts (big again!) The Hohan's cup size fluctuates, if by will-power, for no other reason than to distract the guy or gal in the supermarket checkout line, or surfing the web, from the painful minutiae of a life destined to be boring, predictable and long.

It's just the British celebrities try even harder. I bring to you the curious case of one Peter Doherty. I'm sure the British are sick of him by now, but most American's have never even heard of Pete Doherty even though he is a talented singer* and a practitioner of antics that would make even our most attention-starved celebrity blush. Here are a few of my favorites;

* In 2003, when his band the The Libertines were being touted as the "Next Great British Band," Doherty was arrested for burgling the flat of bandmate and song writing partner Carl Barat. Doherty was sentenced to six months in jail. To put this in perspective this would not be unlike Keif going to jail for robbing Mick, or John for robbing Paul, in the mid-sixties. The band reunited after he served his time.

*Earlier this year, Doherty was videotaped injecting an unconscious young woman with a syringe. Given Doherty's inclination towards drugs and reckless behavior the worst was feared. Yet, Doherty was able to clear his name with the strangely effective alibi that he was collecting paint for his "blood painting" hobby.

*Most recently he was caught shooting up in a airplane bathroom. He was not prosecuted, but has been banned from all Easy Jet flights.

He also has a long list of the behavior typical to an oft-inebriated celebrity -- each a little gift to an empire long in decline. Doherty is also the on-and-off paramour of waif-like super-model Kate Moss, and I thought her own recent, highly publicized drug controversy (in Italian) would finally thrust bad-influence Pete to his proper spot in The American Gossip Pantheon.

It was not to be.

Luckily, due to the power of the internet, I can follow Doherty on sites like these.

I recommend you do the same.

*Hear Pete sing with the Libertines and Babyshambles (NSFWish.) Plus, a bonus video from the post's title!