Johnny Depp has become a danger to us all

John Mark Karr will not be charged with the murder of JonBenet Ramsey. After ten million articles published on the sordid twist to the sordid tale I've finally figured out why Karr confessed to an unspeakable crime he had no involvement in.

Karr, clearly obsessed with the murder, had penned a manuscript about it and wanted Johnny Depp to portray him as the misunderstood child-killer.

There was a time actors such as Lon Chaney, Bela Lugosi and Borris Karloff, under heavy makeup and unattractive prosthetics, portrayed the freaks and outsiders of the world.

These days this territory has become the domain of Depp, with his perfect cheekbones and generous pout.

While it's true John Mark Karr didn't hurt anyone besides the Colorado taxpayer and the reputation of a certain blogger who prematurely exonerated the late Patsy Ramsey, it is only a matter of time before somebody really does horrible things because he thinks Johnny Depp will feel his pain and portray him on celluloid.

Johnny Depp, your brooding good looks and off-beat role choices are officially hurting America.

She's back

This guy is about to give creepy looking teachers who move to Asia and live in neighborhoods known for their massage parlors and sex industry a bad name.

Speaking of creepy and unfair, the JonBenet ordeal can make even the most casual observer feel dirty -- and it turns out Patricia Ramsey was right all along about what happened to her daughter. I guess the world owes Patsy a huge apology. Too bad she is dead.

It always struck me as odd that so much suspicion was directed towards the mother in a murder that involved elements of sexual assault. Patsy must have come off like a freak, or was just so insufferable that all of the investigators wanted her incarcerated so she would stop bothering them.

Loose-lipped admitted killer John Mark Karr needs to get himself a lawyer and a new shirt. The rest of us need to get ready for lots of photographs of a perfectly coiffed six year-old who was brutally murdered ten years ago.

Looks like I picked a good time to go on vacation.

Update: Karr might be making the whole thing up. If so, he has done an excellent job dressing exactly like a sexually deranged child killer would.