A quick note on Barry Bonds

Like most, I don't really know quite what to think about Barry Bonds breaking the most revered of all sports records.

But I will say that it just goes to show you don't need to be "one of the guys" or "have a head smaller than a gigantic watermelon" to become Major League Baseball's all-time home run king.

Will 756 force society to look at the socially awkward and physically deformed in a new light?

I know I'd still walk a block to avoid running into one of them. And, even knowing what we know now about their laser-like focus and probable links to performance enhancing drugs, I still wouldn't want some weirdo with extremities puffed up like water wings on my softball team.

Really, the big winner here is Alex Rodriguez. Because when he passes Bonds' mark in about six years the public will only be mildly perturbed with A-Rod's hopeless narcissism and passive aggressive whininess.

I believe the reason there is a squirrel on Barry Bonds' leg is because the photoshopper I grabbed this picture from wishes to imply Bonds is a giant acorn head.

Surprising developments in an ongoing investigation

Barry, I apologize. I am still mighty suspicious of that 1422 OPS you put up at age 39, but I shouldn't have brought your rapidly expanding cranium into it.

Olbermann and O'Reilly, I callously attributed each of your successes to freakishly humongous skull structure. That was wrong.

What I didn't realize is I wasn't just disparaging a left-handed slugger and a couple of highly ethical journalists -- you guys are genuine trend setters. The kind most companies would pay top dollar to stick behind some one-way glass and watch breathe.

Here's the photographic evidence that in Hollywood having a big head is the new black. (Warning: this link contains Baldwins.)

In related news, former US senator George Mitchell has expended his steroid probe to the 2003 set of the comedy hit Old School.