The nerve of some equines

Of course they don't show the part where the horse calls the jockey's mother a "terrorist whore."

The folly of equality

FIFA finally weighed in on the Zidane headbutt, suspending the retired French football star three games, but also suspending Italian defender Marco Materazzi two games for taunting Zidane.

A few minutes later the United Nations Secretary General Kofi Anan, addressing the UN security council, blamed both Hezbollah and Israel for the conflict in Lebanon.

What links these two stories is they are more examples of an international organization looking at a situation where there is conflict and controversy and trying their damnedest to dole out blame equally.

Since international institutions represent a cornucopia of interests and perspectives they have to do this to maintain their legitimacy among their members.

The price they pay for this legitimacy is a lack of authority.

It has been said diplomacy is "the art of letting someone have your way."

So how could it be anything but folly to turn an organization like the UN, which doesn't have a unified "way," for diplomacy?

I'm not stating anything earth-shaking here. The UN has lost authority as a geopolitical broker every year it has existed. I doubt many serious people still think it can serve that function at all.

But what has replaced the UN is the de facto mini-UN's we create when we excercise the instinct to bring in as many voices as possible into conflicts, whether it be Iraq, North Korea or Lebanon.

Diplomacy needs to be handled as unilaterally as possible -- or not at all.

The "equal" solutions large groups tend to come up with are anything but, and they only lead to more trouble down the road.

Castro toppled!!!

Check it out. Bet you can't just watch once. The French are suddenly so useful.
Update: I keep watching and keep laughing.

The headbutt

It is no longer just for aggrieved footballers and drunken Scots. Watch out. Coming to a city near you.

Al Qaeda: Back to the drawing board

Italian central defender and head-drum Marco Materazzi now acknowledges he did provoke French soccer legend Zinedine Zidane with an insult. What insult? We still don't know:

"I did insult him, it's true," Materazzi said in Tuesday's Gazzetta dello Sport. "But I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I'm not cultured and I don't even know what an Islamic terrorist is.

Wow.

What a surprising blow for brand Islamic terrorism. Previously, industry analysts had been praising their every move. They were often cited as experts in getting themselves exposure through television and seemed to have mastered the nuances of the internet. Street teams, T-shirts, placards, video games --that's textbook messaging.

They did this all despite behind-the-scene whispers from the "old school" that just a bombing campaign would be plenty.

Now they learn they didn't even break the mass market in Italy. A country that perpetually insults the Islamic world with the bottom of its boot.

Sure, there is something to be said about sneaking up, but in the terror game name recognition is paramount.

It looks like it's back to the drawing board for bin Laden and the boys.

Sports drink? Rock concert sponsorship? BCS bowl?

The Zidane mystery

It's been 24 hours and still no official word on what Italian defender Marco Materazzi said to make Zinedine Zidane flip, cock and fire his shaven lid at Materazzi.

There is speculation Materazzi called Zidane "a dirty terrorist," in reference to Zidane's Muslim and Algerian background. Materazzi denies making the terrorist comment and, so far, Zindane remains mum on what he heard.

I know soccer has struggled with issues of race in the past, and has been embarrassed recently by racist chants and signs from crowds in Spain and Italy.

But what happened did not come from the stands. It was a conversation between two players. I've never played soccer on a world class level (or since I was ten) but I've seen things done and heard things said in a low-division high school rugby scrum that would get you marked as an outcast and probably arrested on the street.

Bottom line, there are different rules when you are competing on the pitch than when you are in "polite" society.

If it turns out Materazzi did call Zidane a terrorist, or something to that effect, it shouldn't cheapen Italy's victory, or allow Zidane off the hook one bit.

Ugly in a certain context? Of course. But let's not forgot Materazzi was able to get the best player in the world thrown out of the biggest match in the world.

Zidane, 34, has surely heard every racist taunt about Algerians and Muslims imaginable. That Materazzi knew he could still get to Zidane with that, if true, borders on being commendable. In fact, I'd ask Materazzi why he didn't taunt Zidane earlier in the match.

Anyway, being called a "dirty terrorist" in the heat of battle (assuming Zidane knows he isn't a dirty terrorist) is nothing compared to the far-harder-to-dismiss insults the German tabloids directed at David Beckham's mother and sister during the World Cup, or what JJ Redick and his family had to deal with on a regular basis when he was popping treys for Duke.

Zidane has been great player and a great champion at every level, and I don't think his getting ejected late in the game was what cost France -- that would be Italy's superior defense and excellent penalty kicking.

There is a still a classy way out of this for Zizou. He shouldn't reveal what Materazzi said for at least a few days. Keep it between world class competitors for now, and let the focus remain on Italy's deserved victory.

That was really fun. I've just become envious of Jay Marrioti and Stephen A. Smith.

Go Bleus

Well, the team I predicated would take the cup has been eliminated, despite their home-field advantage, and we are left with two other traditional European soccer powers in Sunday's final.

I will be pulling for the French. It took a while for their old legs to get going. Once they did they played refreshingly free-wheeling soccer led by Zinedine Zidane, for what it's worth the greatest soccer player I've ever seen.

France also has a goalkeeper who sometimes forgets he is allowed to use his hands. When he does remember, he forgets he isn't playing volleyball. If more goalies were this forgetful, soccer would be a lot more exciting and high scoring.

Another reason to pull for France is most of their starters were either born in or have a parent from Africa. Meaning Les Bleus belong as much to the Dark Continent as the Fifth Republic. Africa wins few victories on the world stage, so it would be nice to see them get one here. Especially on the heels of 2010 World Cup, the first ever in Africa.

As for the Italians ... boring, boring and boring.

Portugal, the team France beat to get to the finals, had been my favorite team to watch early in the tournament. But they digressed into whinny thuggishness during their bloody second round match with the Dutch. Then, early in their semi-final against France, Portugal's star player, tattle-tale Cistiano Ronaldo, sensing he had no chance of reaching a cross took a dive in the box that can only be described as auditioning-to-be-the-next-Superman-but-without-the-harness-and-crane.

Luckily the ref wasn't fooled (this time.)

Ronaldo's most disgraceful dive in a tournament full of disgraceful dives not only turned me on the Portuguese, but may have sentenced his nation to another 500 years bad luck.

So there you go -- I couldn't make it through a World Cup post without mentioning the diving. I guess that makes me an American. That being said, the World Cup is a spectacular sporting event; unmatched by any other, domestic or international.

It's too bad the game itself is not always up to par.

Here is Bill Simmons's take on why he loves the World Cup but soccer, not so much.