This boring day in review

You may remember me whining about how there is nothing going on today from JSB posts like the last one. But that isn't entirely true. There is always something going on. For example:

I just read an article about Gypsies
Now you probably think Gypsies are mythical creatures like the hobbit, or extinct like the dinosaur. That is incorrect. Not only are Gypsies real and in the present tense, but at least a million of them walk among us in the United States of America. You can read about what the Gypsies are up to here. But if you just wanted to guess, and you guessed palm reading and insurance fraud, you'd be correct.

Jessica Sierra
This former American Idol finalist has managed, in the past week, to get arrested, yell racial slurs, and have a sex tape "released." Text book attention grabbing 101, right? I thought so too, but her exploits haven't really created much buzz at all. Could it be these tried and true methods have lost their effectiveness? That's not a good thing, although many of you are probably thinking it is. But consider this: There are literally thousands of failed reality TV stars roaming our streets. And if they can't get their Drudge mention and 12 frantic posts on TMZ by dropping N-bombs, or exposing their not-quite-ready-for-prime-time flabby flesh, they are going to turn to more extreme attention wrangling techniques such as shooting up shopping malls or running for president.

Facebook
Facebook has been in the news a lot lately, and not just because we now know the social networking site will install into your computer software that will steal your digital soul and then sell it to large corporations. Facebook is also helping to achieve peace in the Middle East. Actually, no it isn't. In fact Syria has just banned Facebook out of fears of "Israeli infiltration." So I thought that was pretty funny. But I don't necessarily have a joke about it.

Did Albania steal Bush's watch?

Emphatically proving his unpopularity doesn't stretch to all corners of the world, President Bush was met in Albania by cheering crowds, a series of commemorative postage stamps, and an official declaration that he is the greatest person in the history of the universe to ever visit the Balkan state. (While this might read like hyperbole, it's all actually true.)

This was too much for Bush's hysterical legion of haters, whose insecurity is such that they only feel comfortable when new Europe despises Bush as much as they do. So, with the help of Albania's sensationalist local media, these bitter critics have developed a narrative that suggests this whole celebration of Bush was an elaborate plot to get him to let his guard down long enough for Albania to steal his watch.

There is even a video tape-- as doctored as it is confusing -- to support the claims of the well-planned pilfering.

I, for one, believe the White House when it suggests the reason why Bush's watch appears to disappear during his interaction with the crowd was simply that Bush took it off and put it in his pocket.

Bush might not be an expert when it comes to understanding foreign cultures, but even he will eventually realize it is not a good a idea to tempt a crowd of Gypsies -- even an adoring crowd of Gypsies -- with a shiny watch.