Leary proves Jameson is stronger than Manishevitz

Last night, actor Denis Leary was brought into the Boston Red Sox broadcast booth to discuss a fireman-related charity. When Leary learns Red Sox first baseman Kevin "The Greek God of Walks" Youkilis isn't really Greek, comic mayhem ensues.

This clip includes a Ted Kennedyesque mispronunciation of Javy Lopez's name, broad insults directed towards the dietary habits of Irish Catholics and Jews, the resurrection of Sandy Koufax's pitching career, and the continuation of Mel Gibson's national shaming.

While the potential for awkwardness was everywhere, it turns out hilarious. Pay special attention to the Red Sox play-by-play guy almost keeling and dying from laughter. Also note how Leary, the well-lubricated comedic pro, has the good sense to keep the gag going when the layman would have believed it to have run its course -- and how Leary's decision to extend it is rewarded by the action on the field.


Tune in next week when Leary finds out Red Sox third basemen Mike Lowell is Cuban.

Update: All forms of this video have been removed from youtube at the request of the New England Sports Network, who claim copyright. Whether that is their regular policy, or just their policy for this video I don't know. Anyway, it was really funny. . . Update: I tracked down a partial transcript.

National disgraces

I've never been a fan of the beauty pageant. Not only is it inconceivable that the contestants are even close to being the most "beautiful" in their geographic region, but any attempt to explain this discrepancy with the word "personality" is a craven attack on all women, if not mankind.

Needless to say, I had no idea there was a Miss Universe pageant over the weekend. But I did catch some of the recriminations surrounding a fainting spell the winner, Miss Puerto Rico, suffered right after receiving her crown. Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza claims she was felled by the bright lights and a gown made of pure metal, while others speculate it was from a lack of eating, ever.

It was probably a little a bit of all three. But I'm pleased to see there is some self-sacrifice involved in winning the title, and it's not all being freakishly tall, having a world class make-up artist and a "life coach."

So pleased was I, I checked out the 2006 Miss Universe website. Donald Trump took over Miss Universe a few years back and either he has stepped up contestant recruitment or hired some magical photographers because, while I can't say I was overly impressed with the looks of the weak-kneed winner, a lot of the girls were actually hot in the look-at-the-girl-over-there-she's-really-hot-I-wish-I-had-the-balls-to-talk-to-her kind of way.

Then I had a look at what passes for our "national costume." I guess it's a nod to our "cowboy" past, but it looks to me like something that would get you thrown out of the riding club and probably better society.

It's not even all that flattering to Miss USA, who was one of the hot ones (and normal sized!)

So, I took a look at a couple of other national costumes, to see what we were missing. As you can see I didn't make it out of the A's.

I didn't have to. I feel a lot better about our national costume now.

If you are Albanian or Antiguan you are correct in wondering why Donald Trump hates you so much.

Sometimes things don't work

I just spent all afternoon writing this post on the current Mideast fun and the legendary Indie-rock band Pavement. It reached 3000 words. I almost posted it just to see if anyone else thought it made sense. I didn't because it's not nice to waste the time of others. I pared it down to 800 words. It sucked. Here are a few Pavement videos.