The DC madam trial limps back into the news

I can't remember being so let down by a story than in May of 2007 when alleged DC madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey threatened to out prominent members of the Washington establishment in an attempt to gain leverage with the authorities.

Unfortunately for the story being any good the most prominent person Pelfray could come up with was David Vitter, the obscure Junior Senator from Louisiana. And after that a few mid-level government officials whose names would only register with their own friends and family, and maybe the women they paid 300 dollars an hour to schtupp

For a while there were rumors that Vitter's particular paid peccadilloes involved wearing a diaper. Which would have made Vitter the diaper-wearing Junior Senator from Louisiana -- and far less obscure. But such talk proved false, and the DC madam scandal slinked into obscurity.

This week the affair has been revisited with Pelfray's trial. It's no longer page one fodder, but the embarrassment of riches that was Eliot Spitzer has allowed me to forgive the scandal that wasn't. Much like two Boston Red Sox world championships paved the way for 1986 World Series goat Bill Buckner to receive a long ovation before Boston's home opener yesterday.

So far there have been a couple fascinating revelations from the court room .

First that Palfrey sent job applicants to the home of regular clients, who then graded the prospect's performance. Reporting back to Palfrey such high-end sex industry no-nos as being a "dead fish."

And that at least one woman, Fauzia Mack, truly believed that being paid 300 dollars an hour to visit a strange man's home didn't include anything lascivious.

Mack testified she called Palfrey in horror after the client she was seeing for an "hour of companionship" demanded oral sex.

Not only did Palfrey, who understandably now denies sex was part of her business model, fire Mack, but she angrily referred to her as a "nitwit" when doing so.

And we are going to have to agree with Palfrey on that one.

Idle threat of the week

As a blogger not averse to dealing in sex, scandal and great personal embarrassment I was very excited about the case of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the alleged DC madam.

Palfrey's threat to out prominent members of the Washington establishment as customers of her 300 dollars an hour escort service sounded like the kind of news happening that could could net me three to six interesting blog posts. Which is a big deal -- these posts don't write themselves.

Little did I know -- in this day and age of G-list celebrities and 15-minutes of fame for everyone -- there can still be such a thing as a 46 pound stack of DC-area phone records without a single name of note. ABC, the network poised to ride the Madam's client list to ratings victory, conceded this, and, given their interest, I'm inclined to believe them.

As sex scandals go, the Palfrey affair did have structural flaws from the beginning. Since it was based in our dreary nation's capital all the players involved were sure to be far homelier than if it was set in any other comparative city of power. Then there was the issue of Palfrey denying sex took place at all. (Although having bold-faced names forced to define sex in a court of law was going to be part of the fun.) Add the late developing fact Palfrey's clients were actually a bunch of faceless workaday schmoes, and I'm staring right at the embarrassing reality that I bought into a scandal where anonymous ugly people paid each other not to have sex. Not so different than what goes on in the checkout line at the grocery store, it turns out.

The panel of judges agreed, and Deborah Jeane Palfrey's threat to bring sex scandal back to DC has massaged idle threat of the week for April 30 to May 6. Which serves as an important reminder: Sometimes an idle threat comes in a valid threat's clothing. So be on the look out for fraudulent threats and, as always, send nominations for idle threat of the week to this space.

May may be the month for the naming of names

Hip hop artist Cam'ron made waves last week when he told 60 Minutes he was so consistent in his anti-snitching vigor that if he learned a serial killer lived next door to him, the rapper wouldn't alert the police.

Coming soon, there may be a lot of baseball players and politicians "high in the echelons of power" wishing the "stop snitchin'" culture reigned in their worlds as well.

"DC Madam" Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the subject of a criminal investigation, will kick things off on 20/20 Friday by (allegedly) unmasking the thousands of high-class Washingtonians to whom Palfrey claims she sold "legal sexual and erotic services across the spectrum of adult sexual behavior."

Since Palfrey maintains her business's legitimacy -- she is adamant the escorts she hired were required by a detailed contract to perform only lawful acts --she needs to convince her former clients to testify to that in a court of law. Something they would be reluctant to do unless their names were already in the public record, and their testimony would now be part of their own defense against a certain technical level of infidelity.

If the names Palfrey has are high profile enough, this could escalate into the sort of "definition of what is, is" orgy of hair-splitting and hypocrisy-accusing that could keep our nation's capital occupied deep into the summer.

There is also a lot gray area in Major League baseball's policy on steroids and performance enhancing drugs. Especially before the present rules were on the books. But that's one of places Kirk Radomski, a former New York Met bat boy and current convicted steroid dealer, is sure to take us when he dishes on the "dozens" of players he sold performance enhancing drugs to.

The muscle-bound Radomski worked for the Mets from 1985-1995, and told federal prosecutors he had continued to do business with baseball players on multiple teams up to the time of his arrest. As part of his plea deal, Radomksi is required to work with former Senator George Mitchell's investigation into baseball's doping past. Mitchell's mandate allows him to publicly out steroid users without baseball's approval. The speculation is, with Radomski in tow, Mitchell could do so sooner rather than later.

If you've been wondering what Lenny Dykstra has been up to, I think you are about to find out.

In the inner city, snitching ostensibly gets people killed. But, in more polite society, it has the potential to be a whole lot of gossipy fun. As long as your name isn't on the list.