David Paterson is the walrus

Last week new New York Governor David Patterson told reporters that he and his current wife engaged in a bit of competitive infidelity for a few years a decade ago. In most instances this would go under the category of an unnecessary disclosure. But in the wake of ousted New York Governor's Eliot Spitzer's sexcapades I guess Patterson felt that by confessing he could get out ahead of the story and nip any potential scandal (like using tax-payer money to finance his trysts) in the bud. And since it seems like, between them, Patterson and his wife had slept with a good chunk of the New York metropolitan region during their rocky period the story may well have gotten out.

But this doesn't explain why, with a minimal amount of prodding, Patterson admitted yesterday to NY1 that he used marijuana and cocaine during the late seventies.

Politicians aren't the most honest folks on earth. So when you hear of an elected official who is "too honest" it is somebody like John McCain -- who tends to make a face when he is less than truthful.

But in David Patterson we may have finally have the genuine article. Just one week in office and we already have barely forced acknowledgments from him concerning sex and drugs. Which means Honest Dave is only a rock and roll disclosure away from completing the famous tripartite motto. Next week look for Paterson to confess that he, not Paul, was the walrus.

Idle threat of the week

Because it exists in the shadows of Manhattan's skyline, and because its well-traveled turnpike displays a dreary smoke-stack peppered industrialism -- largely at odds with the leafy affluence you will find along its auxiliary veins -- New Jersey has always been synonymous with second class.

So it must have allowed The Garden State's punch-line wary citizens some glee when Eliot Spitzer, the governor of the gold-standard state of New York, and a wealthy scion of the glittering city of the same name, lost his post and humiliated his blue-blooded wife by paying to gallivant with a tried-and-true Jersey girl of many tawdry names and professions.

New Jersey had had its own gubernatorial sex scandal a couple years back when Jim "I'm a gay American" McGreevey was forced to step down after allegations of improper relations with a male member of his staff. Which is why, in the wake of Spitzer's stunning demise, McGreevey's ex-wife Dina Matos McGreevey took to sharing her experience and consoling New Yorkers on various media outlets -- casting New Jersey in the unlikely role as wiser older sibling to New York.

It turns out Matos McGreevey would have done best to keep her mouth shut. For her increased exposure has triggered the release of details concerning McGreevey's sex life that cast doubts on Matos McGreevey claim that she was blindsided by the discovery of her husband's orientation.

Before they married, and when Jim was mayor of Woodbridge, New Jersey, the McGreevey's regularly engaged in three-ways with Teddy Pederson, a Rutgers student and aid to McGreevey. The Friday night trysts generally started with drinks at T.G.I Fridays, and ended with McGreevey lustfully watching his bride-to-be have sex with the handsome younger man. In addition to their regular appointment, the three would often share a hotel room when McGreevey went out of town on business.

Which means that if New York's gubernatorial demise is a Greek tragedy titled "Hubris and The Fall," New Jersey's is an episode of Jerry Springer titled "Your Boyfriend Liked to Watch When You Had Sex With a Handsome College Student and You Never Suspected He Could Be Gay?!?!?"

And New Jersey's brief shinning moment of interstate superiority is the Idle Threat of the Week for March 10th to 16th.