Man sues dog

"Mo' Money Mo' problems," said a famous hip hop recording artist. Then he drove away in his gold car, tossing twenty dollar bills towards the crowd he had attracted.

Apparently that mantra also holds true in the Animal Kingdom, as Leona Helmsley's Toy Maltese has had nothing but problems since his late madam bequeathed him 12 million dollars.

Helmsley, always considerate of headline writers, named her dog Trouble. But last week Helmsley's brother, Alvin Silversteen, wasn't feeling the spirit of giving after he inherited Trouble, along with an additional 15 million dollars, from his controversial sister.

Few know why Silversteen rejected the orphaned pooch -- he refuses to speak to the press and may have gone into hiding over the matter. What is known is Trouble's next stop could be the courthouse, as Helmsley's former maid is said to be making a play for Trouble's millions.

In 2004 Zamfira Sfara, claiming her boss's four pound menace bit her numerously, tried to sue Helmsley. Unfortunately for the housekeeper, a judge ruled workers compensation laws shielded the irritable hotel queen from the litigiousness of tax paying little people.

Now with Helmsely and her favorable ruling out of the picture, Sfara's son Remus Pop is telling everyone who wants to hear that his mother is working with lawyers to concoct a plan to remove Trouble from his new fortune:

"That is the next step," Pop (said). "That dog got money. That money is going to be taken away from that dog."

OK, Mike Vick. When you're done suing the dog, maybe you can try your luck suing a Sunday barbecue. Or liberty.

Death Watch: Leona Helmsley

The death of hotel queen and tax evader Leona Helmsley reminds us that there was once a time our society was interested in the antics of women of a certain age. During the 80's, if Imelda Marcos bought another thousand pairs of shoes, Nancy Reagan consulted Oscar De La Renta's astrologer on the reflooring of the Lincoln Bedroom, or Helmsley terrorized another gay bellhop, it was all over People Magazine and the super market rags.

This very tabloid space is now occupied by the Britneys and Lindsays of the world. And it's a good thing, because the culture has been moving towards less panty wearing for some time, and who wants to see a short-skirted Imelda Marcos revealing her other smile as she emerges from a motorcade limo?

They called Leona Helmsley a "bitch" and the "queen of mean." If she had been a man they would have called her "mentally ill." Helmsley was 87 years old.