Hoops McCann is not into the health food

Last night the New York Knicks and the Chicago Bulls almost tussled. At issue was the Bulls, who were up by 30, trying to reach 100 points – which would have netted all the fans in attendance a free Big Mac -- in the closing minutes of the game. The teams exchanged pointed words after the final buzzer, but everyone kept their hands to themselves. “They were definitely trying to rub it in,” whined Knick Eddy Curry.

Nobody is sure if the pudgy center meant the score or that he wouldn't be eligible for one of the Big Macs.

JSB NBA correspondent Hoops McCann likes McDonalds as much as he does The Association. But when Hoops talks nuggets, he means not the deep fried dip-ables of indeterminate fowl, but the combustible amalgamation of professional basketball talent that has been assembled in the Mile High City.

Click here for Hoops's latest dispatch.

McDonald's officially loses control of its Mc

The enormous multi-national corporation McDonalds, in a move generally associated with Gypsies, is putting pressure on the Oxford English Dictionary to change its current definition of the word McJob.

As it stands a McJob is "an unstimulating, low-paid job with few prospects, esp. one created by the expansion of the service sector."

This demand seems a bit greasy, coming from a company that has been wantonly mashing the mc- prefix onto unsuspecting words like muffin and nugget and chicken for decades.

Everybody knows once you start creating word Frankensteins you immediately lose control of the beast. So there should be no sympathy for McDonalds here.

Although this does act to remind us of rib's special plight. A dignified word evoking biblical tales and hearty Midwestern meals for most of the year, it is reduced to a boneless, ridged patty of an indeterminate meat-like substance smothered in a thin, sugary sauce every time McDonald's brings back their popular McRib promotion. But you don't see it complaining. . .