Get in the ring

So JSB leaves his hovel and his trusty internet connection for a few days and like that he completely misses news of the undisputed greatest celebrity dust up of all-time.

Sorry Alabama, but we ain't talking Stewart-Kenseth.

I need to preface my remarks by admitting that to a fellow my age Guns N' Roses are like the Beatles, Stones, Who and Doors rolled into one. Which makes Axl Rose, now that he basically is the whole band, something so inconceivably mythic it makes my head hurt when I try to conceptualize it.

I have been eagerly awaiting the release of the album Chinese Democracy for ten years. And on the day it is released I will download it in ultra-cheap, semi-legal fashion. This album is such a long time coming the title means something significantly different now then it did when it was conceived.

Again, too much thought on this will make the head hurt.

But not as much as it will when you try to wrap your brain around the image of rock god Axl Rose and almost fashion icon Tommy Hilfiger slapping it out at a New York night club, as Kid Rock, Lenny Kravitz and Mickey Rourke look on in sweet, sweet horror.

The fight began when Axl moved the drink of Hilfiger's lady friend. Reportedly, Axl did very little fighting back, and kept his cool as Hilfiger punched himself out before being removed by security. Later Axl performed the song "You're Crazy" and dedicated it to his new "friend."

This episode clearly has all the markings of comedy, high comedy and even downright hilarity. But in it also lurks tragedy -- for as of now it seems no proper footage of the brawl exists. I've checked youtube and google video and have come up empty.

But there must be something somewhere. Even if it's just a grainy video from a cellphone, I'd probably pay to take a look.

Maybe even 99 cents.