Identity politics

Fresh out of rehab for booze and pills, night voter Patrick Kennedy has asked to be treated like an African American in Anacostia. JSB appreciates both the manner and substance of his request. There can never be too much alliteration in public discussion and it was just a few weeks ago I favorably compared Patrick to a real African American politician in Anacostia -- so we're ahead of the curve once again.

Now typically, this isn't what is meant by getting the AA treatment.

But why not make the steps to recovery a baker's dozen, and slide a "be treated like an African American" between "make a searching and fearless moral inventory" and "admit to God, ourselves and others the exact nature of our wrongs?"

Before Pas-trick gets to spend too much time in his disadvantaged minority hairshirt, I need to point out that being treated like an African American isn't all cracking batons and syphilis.

For example:

Kennedy's Caucasian colleagues will start informing him whenever they have a favorite new hip-hop song. If he's lucky they will play it for him and bob their heads semi-rhythmically.

He can start wearing the thick platinum chain and velvet track suit he bought for Pimp's and Ho's Night at the old frat to meetings with constituents.

When an attractive woman walks past him he will be able to maintain his stare with a full 180 degree turn and even make a lascivious remark or two without risk of censure.

Assuming he stays sober enough to continue to speak English at a college graduate level he will immediately move to the short list for the democratic presidential nomination in '08.

That's right folks. We could be on the verge of our second Black president in less than a decade. I, for one, never thought I would see the day.