But we mustn't be blamed for David Schwimmer

Ariel Sharon's body is literally still warm and some guy is already whining about the current lack of "bad ass" Jews. David Marchese, writing in Salon yesterday, pretty much blames the whole thing on half-Irish Ben Stiller.

I didn't really have a problem with the article, other than he was blatantly picking and choosing his "jackass" and "schlubby" celebrity Jews to drive his point home. But the majority of the posters in a lively for Salon comment section sure did.

From them, there was a lot of this "I don't see the world through the prism of such labels."

Blah, blah, blah. I thought the whole point of posting comments on the internet was an anonymity that allows you to say what you really think.

Although the question of what exactly constitutes a Jew, in these times of increased inter-marriage and secularism, is a vexing one.

Luckily, as I read Marchese's article, I figured out a good test:

If you think you might be Jewish, and find yourself keeping track of celebrities who are Jewish, you are, in fact, a Jew.

For the purpose of building a good glossary of Jewish celebrities Marchese's article, and the top ten list and mostly unhappy comment section that accompany it, are quite useful. All together, they work as the next installment of Adam Sandler's (who is not good for the Jews, according to Marchese) Hanukah Song series.

From it, I learned that Hollywood siblings Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal are Members of the Tribe, despite the sneaky double letters, and that actor Orlando Bloom is Jewish, despite being a blonde-haired elf. Not only have I filed this information away, but the quality of their work has risen in my estimation.

I highly recommend all Jews check out Marchese's much-hated story. It is certainly worth looking at the car ad, the vodka ad, or whatever Salon will throw at you to earn a day pass.

And remember, having an extensive Jewish Celebrity Glossary isn't just for Jews. It's also great for anti-Semites, because you can't have a conspiracy without conspirators.

Since I like to be inclusive on jsb, I will just give in and recommend the article to all and not end this post with a Yiddish word.

*Speaking of which, another good thing about the article is that Marchese uses the Yiddish word "schmendrick" at one point. I had totally forgotten about that word, but it's a good one. I need to figure out ways to add it to my repertoire.