Couldn't resist (but I will resist a photo)

I've held off posting this story all week. It's already been passed around the internet, and would be unredeemably creepy if not so darn hilarious.

So here you go -- because I know people can't get enough of civil cases involving NBA power forwards who crash SUVs into parked cars while drunk, watching pornography and masturbating.

It is important to note Minnesota Timberwolf Eddie Griffin only denies the drunk part.

In his sober professional life Griffin lacks the coordination to consistently make lay-ups. Making his alleged actions that much more audacious.

Happy Friday.

For those whose computer doesn't like downloading PDF's, here is an article about the "incident." It happens to contain the best headline/lede combo since at least the invention of the printing press.