Thursday, September 28, 2006

Death Watch: When fake songwriters die

On Tuesday news outlets around the world reported the death of the man who wrote the early-sixties' smash Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.

Songwriter Paul Vance of Coral Springs, Florida was
shocked to learn he had died and frantically provided reporters with royalty payment stubs to prove he was alive and who he claimed. An official from American Society for Composers, Authors and Publishers was able to verify Vance's identity. As was the family of the song's co-writer.

In discussing the hardships of being mistaken for dead, the 76 year-old Vance brought up the strange phenomena of friends and relatives calling him up -- to make sure he was still dead, I guess. They got a pleasant surprise.

Not so happy was the wife of Paul Van Valkenburgh, the man who really died and had been claiming he wrote the novelty hit under the name "Paul Vance" for the past forty years.

It must have started as a ploy to snag chicks and the one who fell for it wasn't giving up so easily.

Despite the mounting evidence that her late husband was a huge liar, Rose Leroux continues to hold out hope the man she was married to for 32 years was just an enormous fool who allowed someone else to collect millions of dollars in royalties and licensing fees that belonged to him. She told reporters:

"If this man is getting the royalties why wouldn't he be happy? The more you stir this up the more you'll smell. Paul can't hurt him now — he's dead. And we're not going after him for the royalties."

If it's any consolation to the deluded Mrs. Leroux, because of her late husband's marathon deception the previously anonymous and two-lived real Paul Vance is now firmly in our death watch crosshairs.

No comments: