NFL picks week 3

WASHINGTON at Houston (+4) That 98 percent of the playbook Redskin offensive coordinator Al Saunders hid during pre-season . . ? Officially missing. He should have used the sock drawer.

New York Jets at BUFFALO (-5.5) Joe Namath's 19 year-old daughter was just named as the other woman in a high profile Palm Beach divorce. Following in her father's footsteps? Weird karma? A drinking problem? I don't know, and that pretty much sums up my thoughts on both the Jets and Bills.

Jacksonville at INDIANAPOLIS (-7) The game of the week. High-strung Peyton pretends to enjoy Eli's late-game success but a harbors a deep, dark resentment towards his laid-back little brother that no self-deprecating cell-phone ad can conceal.

GREEN BAY at Detroit (-6.5) When asked why he celebrated a touchdown with his team down big, master prognosticator Roy Williams said "that means nothing to me. The score means nothing." The football pundits scoffed, but I suspect most mental health professionals would applaud Williams's approach to being a Lion.

Cincinnati at PITTSBURGH (-2) Here is the viscous late game hit. Here is the concussed and confused Chad Johnson trying to talk to reporters after the game. No, he didn't get that Grace Jones haircut on his way to the locker room.

Tennessee at MIAMI (-10.5) It's so cute how sudden Miami fan favorite back-up QB Joey Harrington rejects the crowds calls for him to play in a nod to the Joey Harrington Lions' fans used to boo and threaten to kill. And it's the ultimate insult to Culpepper that Harrington hasn't thrown a single pass between his two incarnations.

Chicago at MINNESOTA (+3.5) I'm not buying this Rex Grossman thing.

CAROLINA at Tampa Bay (+3) Chucky would beat Chris Simms regularly if he didn't show bruises so easily.

Baltimore at CLEVELAND (+6.5) Too many points for a team with an average offense to be giving their biggest rival on the road.

New York Giants at SEATTLE (-3.5) First round pick fantasy pick Shaun Alexander is starting to freak me out. And why isn't he playing for Briscoe High? (The epic riffs from Creation and Norman Greenbaum make those spots.)

PHILADELPHIA at San Francisco (+6) A good opportunity for the Eagles to channel their shame positively.

St. Louis at ARIZONA (-4.5) The most confusing game of the week. Which team is the Cardinals? And what ever happened to Phoenix?

Denver at NEW ENGLAND (-7) Speaking of confusing and fantasy, I see Shanahan is only using running backs named Bell in his point-killing rotation. Word is Greg Bell looks good for 43.

ATLANTA at New Orleans (+4) First Superdome game in over two years. Fans will be shocked to learn some NFL teams now run the option.