Friday, October 20, 2006

Week seven picks

JACKSONVILLE at Houston (+9.5) The rain may have been helping him get extra movement on his pitches, but those slow curves Wainwright used to close the ninth made me yelp.

CAROLINA at Cincinnati (-3) Yadier's NLCS winning home run immediately catapulted the Molina brothers past the Zendejas brothers on the list of greatest all-time Latino brother trios in sports. Only the Alous stand between the Molinas and the top spot.

NEW ENGLAND at Buffalo (+5.5) In a match-up of sickly-thin, crinkly-faced skippers, I'm taking Detroit in 6.

PHILADELPHIA at Tamp Bay (+5.5) That terrible roughing the passing call that allowed the Bucs to defeat Cincinnati makes up for Chris Simms's spleen.

Detroit at JETS (-3.5) Judging by Putin's comments yesterday, Israel's rapist president has really endeared the Jewish state to Russia. Promoting the exploits of Moshe Katsav would probably score Israel points with most of its traditional enemies.

GREEN BAY at Miami (-5.5) Farve throws far better looking interceptions than Culpepper can even dream of. Now that Culpepper has been benched he can learn the proper way to turn the ball over from the master. After dissecting Farve's technique, expect Culpepper to display a marked improvement in his execution of bad decisions. (If he is ever permitted back on the field.)

SAN DIEGO at Kansas City (+5) The key to winning any match up between Schottenheimer and Edwards is going into the last two minutes behind.

PITTSBURGH at Atlanta (+2.5) On the fantasy front, I picked up Pittsburgh's defense in anticipation of Michael Vick's special kind of magic.

DENVER at Cleveland (+4.5) Did you know Japan is physically larger than Germany? I just learned that this morning. I would have picked Germany. I've also picked almost exclusively road teams giving up points. That has to violate some law of pro football prognosticating or common sense.

ARIZONA at Oakland (+3) Fans of both teams were saddened when this week's dirty bomb threat against The Oakland Coliseum was exposed as a cruel, cruel hoax.

Minnesota at SEATTLE (-6.5) The '06 election is shaping up of as a showdown between the opinion polls and Bush/Rove/Melhman's increasing and increasingly bizarre confidence. Both have pretty good track records for predicting elections, so something has got to give.

Washington at INDIANAPOLIS (+9) Yesterday, Kim Jong-il apologized to Beijing for his fake nuclear test. Isn't it time for Dan Snyder to apologize to Washington for his fake football team?

Giants at DALLAS (-3) I couldn't help but thinking when University of Miami President Donna Shalala kept telling the press she wouldn't throw any of the Hurricane players "under the bus" in the aftermath of their ugly brawl with FIU, it wasn't because she had compassion for the student-athletes. She just didn't want anyone to think she was reacting like T.O would.

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