Monday, November 20, 2006

Tom Cruise weds, Xenu show restraint

Tom Cruise married the possibly brainwashed actress Katie Holmes over the weekend. There was the prerequisite weirdness: Cruise had grown a half-foot since last seen, the ceremony ended with a "never ending" kiss that caused the audience to squirm, yelp and finally beg the newlyweds to unlock lips, and the best man will be accompanying the happy couple on their honeymoon.

As I skimmed over the press and blogsphere accounts of the wedding I noticed, in many of the descriptions, there were gratuitous slaps at certain aspects of Scientology. I read comments along the lines of "during the wedding Xenu refrained from zapping anyone with his laser beam," and "Tomkat waved their friends goodbye and entered the giant spaceship."

Yes, the story of Scientology is far-fetched. But why assume the Scientologists would incorporate it into their public wedding ceremony?

When was the last time you heard someone say, "what I really liked about the wedding was the part when a robed, bearded man who wasn't invited by either the bride or the groom magically appeared. He was groggy at first -- he said he had been dead a few days. When he came to I found him to be charismatic and omnipresent."

Or, "I thought it was going to be a beachfront ceremony until the sea parted and the shuttle bus followed the two magnificent walls of water to a beautiful island."

That's not to say Tom Cruise and Scientology wouldn't be worthy adversaries in a nutty contest. But still, you have to be careful what you insinuate. You wouldn't want to find yourself on the business end of Xenu's laser beam. From what I gather, stranger things have happened.


Anonymous said...

Does JT fear the Baldwins more than God?

JT said...

It depends if you're talking old or new testament. The Old Testament God is not to be trifled with under any circumstance. But the New Testament God ... More scary than one Baldwin, but not all four.