Friday, November 17, 2006

Week 11 picks

Washington at TAMPA BAY (-3) My dream scenario is Jason Campbell plays just well enough to give 'skins fans false hope for next season.

Tennessee at PHILADELPHIA (-13) Never has a team been as unimpressive in completely dismantling a division rival as the Eagles were last week.

St. Louis at CAROLINA (-6.5) The producers of the Borat movie really blew it by not introducing the Kazak reporter to excitable Southerner, Jake Delhomme.

PITTSBURGH at Cleveland (+3.5) Most seem loathe to admit it, because he's been so obnoxious in the past, but I don't care: Kellen Winslow Jr. is on his way to becoming the best tight end in all of football.

Oakland at KANSAS CITY (-9.5) On paper, all the Chiefs have to do to win big is show up. On paper all Nancy Pelosi had to do to enjoy a disaster-free first day as speaker-elect was not publicly thrust the full weight of her support behind an ethically challenged, possibly insane and ultimately unelectable candidate for Congress's number two spot. So that's all you need to know about "on paper." Still, I'm betting the Chiefs show up.

New England at GREEN BAY (+6) Disorder in the house of Belichick elicits schadenfreude across the league. But it's a nervous, nervous kind of schadenfreude.

Minnesota at MIAMI (-3) I could see Miami finishing strong again this year. A joke involving Dante Culpepper and Jeff Gilooly should follow this statement.

BUFFALO at Houston (-2.5) Buffalo is the nation's nicest city. Houston tops the scales as our fattest. It's like they were made for each other.

Chicago at JETS (+7) Still not buying the Bears. They score way too many points as a direct result of defense and special teams. As good as their defense and special teams might be, those points can't be expected to keep coming.

CINCINNATI at New Orleans (-3) Important hurricane statistics: Zero in '06

Atlanta at BALTIMORE (-4) Two teams that screw me every week. I expect the Ravens to win by four, but picking the tie is against the rules.

DETROIT at Arizona (-2.5) So far, only one person has been shot during the Play Station 3 riots. This is disappointing, sure, but I'd still take American PS3 rioters over French rioters of any kind.

SEATTLE at San Francisco (+3.5) Very sneakily, San Francisco is in the middle of the playoff race.

INDIANAPOLIS at Dallas (+1) T.O. really did just release a children's book about how to share.

SAN DIEGO at Denver (-2.5) O.J. really did just release an adult book about how to kill your wife and her friend named Ron.

GIANTS at Jacksonville (-3.5) In the NFL, running backs are highly interchangeable, and 95 percent of their results can be attributed to their team's offensive line and system. There are three exceptions to this: Tiki Barber, Brian Westbrook and LaDainian Tomlinson.

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