Thursday, February 22, 2007

Hoops McCann makes it rain

Consider this scenario: You are out at a bar or a club and suddenly a scantily clad attractive woman (this scenario works best if you are a guy) comes up to you and begins gyrating suggestively. Soon enough she is enthusiastically thrusting herself against you.

At this point most would be mentally clearing away their plans for the rest of the evening. Or would at least be basking in the satisfying feeling that one could be doing so.

Then, just as quickly as she appeared, the mysterious siren is gone.

I guess it's a good story if it happens once or twice in a lifetime, but any more than that and it's a burdensome tease and a pain in the front.

This is why I despise strippers.

That people fork over money to be mistreated like this baffles me. I'm of the opinion the stripper should be paying me for the body-type affirming service I am providing to someone who probably has a litany of self-esteem issues. In fact, I demand to be paid. I am not welcome in most strip clubs.

Well folks, there is a new trend in titty bar etiquette that has caught on with some of your bigger ballers and blingier hip-hopers, and it takes the money wasting insanity of the strip club to a completely new level.

It's called "making it rain" and it means going into an adult establishment with a huge sack of money and indiscriminately throwing said bills above and around where the performers are doing their thing.

Or, basically, responding to a lap dance the way the Pentagon would.

After last Sunday's NBA All Star Game in Las Vegas, NFL player Pacman Jones entered a gentleman's club with a big plastic trash bag fill of cash and made it rain to the tune of 81,000 dollars.

In the shootout that ensued three were wounded, one critically.

This capped off a disastrous weekend for Las Vegas and the NBA. The game itself was an uninspiring display of hung over sloppiness, and the behavior of the fans who congregated in Sin City was so thuggish that prominent national sports columnist Jason Whitlock compared All Star Weekend to an "out-of-control street party that features gun play, violence, non-stop weed smoke and general mayhem," and even suggested the only way to save the event is to move it overseas.

Unlike Whitlock, JSB basketball correspondent Hoops McCann was not in Las Vegas for the All Star Game. He knows it is just an exhibition. And when Hoops makes it rain, it is only basketball knowledge that falls from the sky. Follow this link for his latest dispatch.

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