Friday, May 25, 2007

JSB makes an antacid recommendation

If you're like me, when you find yourself at the grocery store purchasing medicinal supplies you usually end up buying the name brands. For example, the other day I purchased a 24 count of Extra Strength Tylenol. I don't remember how much it cost, but it was at least 50 cents more than the supermarket brand sitting right next to it.

While 50 cents isn't at all a significant amount of money, you have to figure if you were staring right at two quarters above a tag that reads "take me" you'd probably take the quarters. And that's what you are not doing when you don't buy the generic brand, which is exactly the same as the name brand when it comes to the active ingredient in medicines. In fact the only possible difference I can think of between Tylenol and a Tylenol knockoff is, historically, the original is slightly more likely to kill you.

Obviously my illogical devotion to name brands means I would also pay a small premium for Tums, as opposed to the store brand of antacid tablets. For, beyond the effective relief of acid indigestion and heartburn, antacid has a significant taste factor.

I've always assumed that GlaxoSmithKline uses its huge research and development budget to make Tums as tasty as can be. And that the chalkiness is just a function of whatever ingredient ultimately quells your stomach discomfort. And that the store brand, lacking the huge research and development budget, must taste really, really chalky.

A couple months ago I was at the grocery and it was out of large bottles of Tums (I have a weak stomach) and only had the generic brand in that size. So I bought a 96 count of Safeway Assorted Berry Flavor Extra Strength Antacid Tablets.

Not only are the Safeway brand's raspberry, strawberry and blueberry tablets far superior to any of the many flavors Tums churns out, but they taste better than most commercially sold candy. If you've ever had a Slush Puppy, Safeway's Assorted Berry Flavor Antacid tastes like the perfect concentration of the sugary syrup that goes into the ice drink, with only the faintest hint of chalkiness detectable.

The tablets are so good they will end up costing you more than the Tums would. That is because you will find yourselves eating them not just when you need to put out the fire inside your ribcage, but when you are hungry or for fun.

I highly recommend Safeway's Assorted Berry Extra Strength Antacid Tablets -- which are also an excellent source of calcium -- to anyone who suffers from heartburn or who has a sweet tooth.


I.L. said...

Actually, and I'm not trying to be a smart ass her, they put calcium inside antacids because the active ingredient in them depletes your body of calcium. So the calcium is there to replenish what the antacid depletes, not to give you your recommended daily dose of calcium (which you still need to get elsewhere). Don't take my word for it, check it out.

I.L. said...

I meant "smart ass here" and not "smart ass her" (which could mean something to the deformed mind). Sorry.