Wednesday, August 15, 2007

More Chinese products to watch out for

There are well over a billion Chinese. There would be a lot more if China ceased with the putting of toxic material in everything. Unfortunately, in this global economy, The People's Republic's rampant product contamination problem is our problem too. Now that "made in China" reads like a health warning, JSB has a few more products you should stay away from:

Rawhide Bone
Over the last few weeks we've learned imports from China are poisoning children, pets and teeth. It's only logical our children's pet's teeth would also be jeopardized by the infusion of cheap Chinese goods. Even Michael Vick wouldn't let his dog chow down on a rawhide bone from Shanghai.

General Tso's Chicken
The deep fried dish is not really from China. Or chicken. But just because General Tso's is tastier than lead doesn't mean it's any better for you.

Some ask why "liberate" Iraq and not Darfur. Well, given one shouldn't walk around Beijing during certain times of the year without a gas mask, I can only cover my mouth and speculate upon what type of chromosome-rattling toxins materialize after Chinese industrialists do their thing in a far-off dusty land. Maybe, Mr. I'm-calling-hypocrisy, when we are done subjecting our soldiers to Sudan we can send them over to liberate Chernobyl.

Yi Jianlian
Jianlian went to the Milwaukee Bucks with the fourth pick in this year's NBA draft. Even after his representatives submitted a workout tape in which the 7-footer was posting up tables and chairs. While some scouts saw this as a warning Jianlian might not be able to compete against livelier opponents, the real reason Yi was displaying his moves against furniture is that no self-respecting Chinamen would get anywhere near an athlete who emits chlorine gas from his sweat glands. Not surprisingly, it was right after the Chinese government learned of Jianlian's unique malady that they sold him to America.

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