Week 3 picks

Before anybody even thinks about using these pick for the purpose of wagering with real money, I have to admit that in my mind most NFL teams are still using their 2004 rosters. That caught up with me last week, and resulted in a 6-9-1 downer. 14-15-3 for the year.

ARIZONA at Baltimore (-8) After the game, as the press swirl around Steve McNair or Ray Lewis, Brian Billick will loudly declare himself one of the four or five most famous NFL coaches in the world.

BUFFALO at New England (-16.5) As the Patriots continue to prosper, is the lesson that you should cheat or that you shouldn't cheat?

Detroit at PHILADELPHIA (-6) QB Jon Kitna credits Jesus for his quick and miraculous recovery from a concussion. Detroit fans wonder if this is the same Jesus who has sat back and permitted the reign of Matt Millen.

Indianapolis at HOUSTON (+6) For all those who have been getting to this blog by Googling "Matt Schaub" and "Jewish" -- he's not.

Miami at JETS (-3) Although, apparently, the information was readily available, I had no clue a fellow named Kellen Clemens was going to be starting at QB for the Jets last week. If I did, I would have never picked them. Now Pennington is back and I will try again.

Minnesota at KANSAS CITY (-3) This rivalry from the AFL-NFL days has never been less relevant.

San Diego at GREEN BAY (+5) Brett Favre is the John McCain of quarterbacks: Too old, too stubborn, and not always so rational. But, like McCain, Favre still has lots of fans -- especially in the press. And, like McCain, Favre shows enough on occasion that even the biggest skeptic has to concede he just might turn back the clock and treat us to one of the greatest comebacks of all time. By this logic Norv Turner would be the Bob Shrum of NFL coaches.

SAN FRANCISCO at Pittsburgh (+9) The Steelers, who will struggle to get a playoff spot in the AFC, would be the clear cut team to beat in the NFC.

St. Louis at TAMPA BAY (-4) Jeff Garcia's continued success in Tampa will not be of help to Donovan McNabb's situation in Philly.

Cincinnati at SEATTLE (-3) This could be the game Seattle's offense breaks out. Or Shaun Alexander just breaks.

CLEVELAND at Oakland (-3) The 51 points Cleveland put up last week was the most shocking thing I've seen since the nude male-on-male wrestling in Borat The Movie.

Jacksonville at DENVER (-3) The no comment game of the week.

CAROLINA at Atlanta (+3.5) I wonder if the Falcons did a thorough background check before signing Byron Leftwich.

GIANTS at Washington (+3.5) Even the famously delusional Redskin fans are slowly and painfully learning that just because a team has won two games in a row it doesn't mean it will be going to the Superbowl -- or is even any good. But I'm thinking three straight wins and all those recent hard learned lessons fly out the window.

DALLAS at Chicago (-3) Now that we've got that whole Oscar De La Hoya being a cross-dresser thing out of the way, I'm more confident than ever that T.O. will be the next high profile athlete to pop up all over the Internet wearing fishnets and garters.

Tennessee at NEW ORLEANS (-4) The new Monday Night Football booth -- frozen-haired early 80's NFC East QB Jaworski instead of frozen-haired early 80's NFC East QB Theismann -- was really good last week. Too bad MNF is no longer culturally relevant.