Week eight picks

Due to a series of terrible flukes, I want 4-7-2 for the week, downing my record to 48-43-12 for the year. My comeback begins here:

PHILADELPHIA at Minnesota (+1) Between the Eagles' epic flop against the punch less Bears, and Philadelphia finishing last among the 25 major cities in a survey of citizen attractiveness, it wasn't the best of weeks for the City of Brotherly love. But don't worry, it's Kevin Ollie, Reggie Evans and your 2007-2008 76ers to the rescue!

PITTSBURGH at Cincinnati (+4) If this is it for Chad Johnson in Cincinnati, you really have to commend him for being there so long and never getting arrested.

INDIANAPOLIS at Carolina (+7) Inevitably the "why isn't anyone paying attention to us" storyline starts to get all of the attention.

DETROIT at Chicago (-5) With God concentrating so hard on getting the Rockies out of their 0-2 hole, you wonder if He has anytime left for Kitna and the Lions.

BUFFALO at Jets (-3) In the latest polling, joke candidate Stephen Colbert garners 13 percent of the vote when added to a Giuliani/Clinton match up. To put this in perspective Ross Perot, who was every bit the parody Colbert is, received 19 percent of the actual votes cast in the 1992 election.

Cleveland at ST. LOUIS (+3) Speaking of Giuliani, earlier this week he got a presidential endorsement in form of an undorsement when court documents showed that during his time as a hard charging Federal Prosecutor the five New York City mob bosses discussed offing him. Then, in today's New York Post, two of the most notorious drug dealers in NYC history enthusiastically threw in with Giuliani -- who dealt with them during their prosecutions -- citing his good principles and honesty. Now, some would see this
as more of undorsement, but the two drug dealers are about to be portrayed in the upcoming Denzel Washington/Russel Crowe true crime story "American Gangster." And if it's a hit . . . I'm thinking endorsement.

OAKLAND at Tennessee (-7.5) Although that still wouldn't carry the juice of the elusive Tony Montana endorsement.

GIANTS vs. Miami (-10) Sending the defective Dolphins to England won't make up for the defective Beckham we were tricked into taking.

Jacksonville at TAMPA BAY (-4) I got nothing, see.

Houston at San Diego Providing the flames don't swallow San Diego whole, I'll update this pick when they figure out where this game is going to be played and set a line.

Washington at NEW ENGLAND (-16.5) The once proud Joe Gibbs has been reduced to declaring his 4-2 (although quite untalented) Redskins "the biggest underdogs in the history of sports." Talented or not, technically they are only the biggest underdog since the Patriots game against the Dolphins last week.

NEW ORLEANS at San Fransisco (+3) My favorite song of the week is Silly Crimes from The Tough Alliance, yet another band from Sweden.

Green Bay at DENVER (-3) If global warming is real, one day the Super Bowl will be held in places like Green Bay and Denver.