Friday, October 12, 2007

Week six picks

Last week I got a little carried away about my greatness as a prognosticator. I was punished accordingly: 5-8-1 for the week. 35-33-8 for the year.

CINCINNATI at Kansas City (+3) Al Gore has now won a Noble Price, an Academy Award and an Emmy. The only thing left for him to do is to take the crown on Dancing with the Stars.

PHILADELPHIA at Jets (+3.5) Anyone who saw Philly's debacle two weeks ago at the Meadowlands would be surprised to see them giving up points on their return trip. Says the man who is picking Philly.

Tennessee at TAMPA BAY (-3) The lack of hurricanes in Florida this storm season leaves most non-Floridians frustrated and disappointed.

St. Louis at BALTIMORE (-10) Now I love and all, but if you go there right now you will learn that Orlando Bloom crashed his car last night. No one was hurt seriously in the accident, and police have ruled out drugs or alcohol. Yet there has so far been at least five posts today, all under banners such as "EXCLUSIVE" and "BREAKING NEWS." Remember, this is Orlando Bloom we are talking about here.

Washington at GREEN BAY (-3) This week the United States House of Representatives passed a resolution honoring Brett Favre for his accomplishments on and off the field. Five million dollar man Ron Paul protested, saying the constitution does not allow for awards to strong armed quarterbacks with poor decision making skills. I'm not kidding, I think he really did.

Houston at JACKSONVILLE (-7) Did I mention I was bummed out about the whole Florida not getting hit with a hurricane thing? The storm season does still have a month to go, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Minnesota at CHICAGO (-6) Sorry Midwesterners, this game is as boring as your slow-paced, agricultural product fed, "friendly" style of life.

Miami at CLEVELAND (-5) With Ted Kennedy just having surgery on a blocked artery, ample Browns' head coach Romeo Crennel moves up another spot on the list of people about to need surgery on a blocked artery. Charlie Weis is on deck, if you are wondering.

Carolina at ARIZONA (-4.5) Jesus's continuing love of Kurt Warner, always at the expense of Matt Leinart, might just make a believer of me yet.

NEW ENGLAND at Dallas (+6) Wouldn't it have been awesome if Terrell Owens had figured out a way to drop Nick Folk's game winning 53 yarder too?

Oakland at SAN DIEGO (+9.5) If congressional aides are now required to get their hepatitis shots before going to NASCAR events, I wonder what kind of bleach they are forced to scrub themselves with after taking in a game at the Oakland Coliseum.

NEW ORLEANS at Seattle (-7) Down in New Orleans, paper bags are making a comeback.

GIANTS at Atlanta (+3.5) Once the Giants see Atlanta's sad QB platoon of Joey Harrington and Byron Leftwich, they will finally realize the benefit of having a quarterback who is afraid of dogs.

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