Paris is not a heiress (for now)

Brazen assassinations of major international political leaders aside, not a whole lot goes on during the week between Christmas and New Years. But that doesn't mean nothing goes on and yesterday we got the shocking news that hotelier and Paris Hilton grandfather Barron Hilton will be willing 97 percent of his 2.3 billion dollar fortune to charity. While that still leaves almost 70 million to distribute to his family, Barron does have eight children. I have yet to see an exact count of grandchildren and great grandchildren, but we do know Paris has three siblings and that the Hiltons are a proudly Catholic family -- so it wouldn't be a surprise if Barron's total progeny is around 50.

In other words Paris Hilton is about as much of a heiress as a good chunk of the kids you grew up with in the suburbs are.

While Paris has been doing fine making money on her own, and is always just a club opening in Berlin or a handbag release in Tokyo away from a major cash infusion, I wonder if these opportunities will start to dry up when it dawns upon everyone that Paris is not who we thought she was. Because the heiress thing was her hook. Just like Britney was once one of the world's most popular performers, and Lindsay is actually a well-thought of actress, and Nicole's dad sung Dancing on the Ceiling.

"Paris the heiress," it even rhymed.

But don't worry, all is not lost. When Barron's father Conrad died in 1979 he left almost all of his money to the church. But Barron contested the will and, because of the work he had done to expand the Hilton brand, was awarded a large share against his late father's wishes.

Like her grandfather, Paris has had an unquestionable influence on the Hilton brand. Maybe one day it will be up to the courts to decide if this has been a good or a bad thing. If so, it could all come down to how the jury feels about the vagina flash.