Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Being stalked is mostly downside

Having a stalker is a good news/bad news scenario. The good news being you are probably more important than the majority of people who don't have a stalker, and the bad news being that there exists a person who follows you around and harbors dark thoughts about killing you with a gun made from the Bantam Edition of "The Catcher in the Rye."

Ok, so it is mostly bad news. And to make matters worse stalkers are rarely otherwise well-balanced people who are just really into you because you are so irresistibly great.

Still, some stalkers are creepier than others. And making a strong play for the creepiest stalker about is a 48-year old named David Ajemian, who today pleaded guilty to stalking late night TV host Conan O'Brien. Here is short list of Ajemian's disturbing attributes:

* He is a Catholic priest from Boston -- a place were the legal records will show Catholic priests are at their most creepy.

* He was smart enough to graduate from Harvard. Smart people don't just excel at school, they are also better at a whole host of other things including stalking, being creepy and making a gun from the Bantam Edition of "The Catcher in the Rye."

* This picture. It was taken right after his arraignment, when he should have been trying to look his least creepy. Instead Ajemian creepily went in another direction:

Of course the title of creepiest stalker about is ephemeral. Meaning if Democratic strategist and current blogsphere whipping boy Mark Penn ever got himself involved in the stalking game he would immediately shoot to number one creepiest stalker based solely on this picture which I actually think is a publicity shot so you can only imagine what his facial expression and body language would be like as he made a mural out of your used tissues:

So yeah, Hillary should try to make the break quickly and permanently.


Anonymous said...

In the history of unflattering stipple drawings, the Wall Street Journal's rendering of Mark Penn this week is among the best (worst). Check it out...he looks like a melting wax figure.


JT said...

That drawing is out of control. Poor Mark Penn. If he was a handsomer guy, I think he would have been able to get away with his little NAFTA-promoting side-deals. Everybody likes to dump on the smirking fat man.