Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Crappy sex scandal round up

There are three quasi-sex scandals a brewing this week.

The first concerns 15-year old tween goddess Miley Cyrus, who showed a little bit of shoulder and some back in a Vanity Fair pictorial. She has apologized for appearing "nude," even though the rest of her was covered by a sheet. It's like if Miley had gone to the pool, but instead of wearing a bathing suit she wore a bed spread. Is that really that different than what those Mormon girls in Texas have to do when they go swimming?

Then we have country singer Mindy McCready claiming she had an affair with embattled right hander Roger Clemens. The key part is that the relationship possibly began when McCready was 15. McCready is 32 now and looks like this. (For those who didn't click, it is a mugshot of a worse for wear McGready sporting a bloodied nose she got during a fight with her mother.) Since Nashville is not my beat, I had never heard of this McCready before yesterday. But I have to admit I was initially intrigued by her life story of number one hit singles, OxyContin and unconsciousness. It almost reeled me in until I realized it wasn't until she was about launch a comeback reality TV show that McCready chose to disclose she was statutorily raped by a famous man. I like my volatile train wreck vixens as much as the next guy, but a little integrity please.

Lastly, we have a Jimi Hendrix sex tape, in which the guitar legend takes on two groupies. This piece of pornographic nostalgia wasn't bought up by a rich perv, so we will be free to see it. In fact a trailer was released today. Is it safe for work? I'm not sure. On the one hand there is clearly an attempt to blotch out the naughty parts with strategically placed digital stars. On the other hand these censor stars clearly weren't developed with the more free flowing pubic hair styles of Hendrix's day in mind. So it would depend on how your boss or co-workers feel about that.

In short, none of these sex scandals are very good. But if you combined them all you'd have a couple of fifteen-year old girls having sex with a dead person.

No comments: