Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sex tapes are the new beards

As popular in his home state as he is tan, Florida Governor Charlie Crist has been on the shortlist for the VP slot on the GOP ticket ever since his last minute endorsement of John McCain propelled the Arizona Senator to victory in Florida's primary, and the driver's seat for the nomination.

But Crist, a sparkly-eyed bachelor, has also been dogged by rumors that he has a secret -- the same type of secret that contributed to fellow sparkly-eyed Sunshine State bachelor politician Mark Foley's sad downfall.

So far Crist's best defense against this speculation has been the rumor that he fathered an out-of-wedlock child in 1989.

But now, courtesy of controversial GOP operative and proud swing club enthusiast Roger Stone (who is the subject of a fascinating article in this week's New Yorker) there is buzz about a sex tape involving Charlie Crist and a woman.

Sex might be a strong word, for Crist and his friend with real female parts were only kissing when their images were captured by an elevator security camera. But reportedly Crist pulls the make-out session off without making a grossed-out face.

Stone, who is saving the tape "to play on the national shows," worked on Crist's 2006 campaign for governor.

If this tactic actually works, and Crist is ungayed in the eyes of party skeptics, look for Mitt Romney to attempt to dispel those nasty rumors that he is a Mormon by leaking a tape involving a six pack of beer and a swear word.

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