Idle threat of the week

Oscar winning actor/director Mel Gibson has ended pop sensation Justin Timberlake's three week lock on the idle threat of the week.

Gibson made headlines over the weekend for bizarre behavior following his arrest on suspicion of drunk driving early Friday morning in Malibu, CA.

Somewhat lost in the haze of statements such as "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," was a barrage of idle threats Gibson directed towards a Los Angeles County sheriff that included, but weren't limited to, disturbing sexual scenarios.

Taken alone, the threats weren't particular noteworthy. Officers of the law deal with this type of langauge whenever they arrest someone who has been mixing drunk with crazy.

But Gibson's combination of idle threats and out-of-context anti-Semitism was striking in its similarity to the rhetoric that emanates from the Government of Iran. So much so that our judges, experts in recognizing verbal patterns in idle threats, have concluded there is a high probability Gibson is in cahoots with the Islamic Republic.

Why Gibson would want to cast his lot with Tehran is beyond me, but it is obvious why the Iranian government would want to work with Gibson. Not only can he act as their West Coast spokesperson, but his impeccable post-apocalyptic credentials would be of great benefit to Iran when the world ends after the coming of the Hidden Imam.

Now we are left to ponder if Mad Mel was acting alone in Malibu, or if was he under instruction from Teheran to create a diversion so they could get on with their nuclear program.