Methamphetamine madness
A survey by The National Association of Counties, released yesterday, claims methamphetamines are the nation's primary drug problem. Usually when the press reports a new piece of information on the so-called "meth epidemic" skeptical Jack Shafer over at Slate demystifies the information and then debunks the reporting. I am going to do him one better:
There is no such thing as crystal meth.
I'm sure it exists as a chemical compound, and they probably have a type of methamphetamine locked behind those closet-sized hospital medicine cabinets. But crystal meth is not a drug one can purchase illegally from a drug dealer.
It is a myth. Just like the Bogeyman, Bigfoot and Tom Cruise's new baby
While it's true I haven't spent much time at the gay club or in Iowa City, I still know all sorts of people and have seen all sorts of things. Yet, I've never seen any crystal meth, nor have I ever known anyone who has been involved with this most dangerous of drug.
I think I might know someone who knows someone who claims to have done meth once. But if you allow the people who know the people you know dictate reality you will lose touch with it quickly.
So what is the point of this supposed meth epidemic? Your typical conspiracy theorist would conjure up a plot to divert funds to local law enforcement and sustain large federal programs. I'm going to do them one better:
It is actually a plot by so-called "meth users" to justify and elicit sympathy for their dangerous orgies and robbery sprees.
And their bad teeth.
6 comments:
...and those deadly explosions in trailer park meth labs are actually just Jiffy Pop experiences gone horribly, horribly wrong.
It could be. Or it could be when they buy up all the robitussin, it's just to slam and robo-trip. Embarassment surrounding the fact they still party like Junior High Scholers has the led them to buy test tubes and bunsen burners and play make-believe chemist. But even make believe chemists can cause real explosions.
Hell, diet coke and mentos can cause explosions.
I think that JSB has probably hit on something momentous here. Meth is just another government conspiracy. It is likely a plot by the Bush administration to take focus in this country off of the rising usage of Cocaine. Bush could feel that his admission to using this very real drug has led to a proliferation of abuse. In an effort to ease his fragile conscience, he and the drug czar invented a new "drug" - meth - whic ironically has come to be called Poor Man's Cocaine.
There might be something to that. Somebody needs to alert Jack Shafer.
what the hell is wrong with this writer? meth is real. the lab explosions are real. it is not a government conspericy. and I come from iowa city.
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