Wednesday, September 20, 2006

DC -- back on top?

The results still need to be reconciled -- because the FBI counts Washington DC as a state and has all sorts of different ways of defining cities -- but it looks like The District could be "Murder Capital" once again. Washington grabbed the top spot during the crack epidemic of the 80's and held it until a few years ago.

If DC is to regain the title it won't be because the murderers in our nation's capital are working harder or learning to kill with greater efficiency. In fact, The District's murder rate has been pretty static since the city relinquished the crown.

Enter Hurricane Katrina, which forced many of New Orleans' best murders to relocate. It is expected the New Orleans' homicide rate -- so dominant in '04 -- will fall off considerably. (How's that treating you, once manageable murder rate of Houston, Texas?)

Detroit has been a threat in the past, but it's likely '05 will be remembered as the year The Motor City finally ran out of people to murder.

Leaving DC and its neighbor to the north in a Baltimore-Washington Parkway battle for murder supremacy.

Even with all the hype surrounding the gritty, "realistic" Baltimore-based crime drama
The Wire, aka "the greatest show in the history of television," it's hard for me to imagine Baltimore being number one at anything. Remember, nobody actually watches The Wire.

So that leaves DC: First in war, first in peace, first in murder and last in the National League East.

Finally.
It even has a nice little rhyme.

I have to confess: As a long time Washington-area resident I've never, during my hundreds of trips inside the constitutionally mandated district, been murdered. Not even remotely. Nor have I ever known anyone else to be. I did eat some really bad sushi there once.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Baltimore would be murder king were it not for a soft spoken hitman’s clever ploy involving a nail gun, plastic sheets, lime, deserted row houses and a tomboy assistant whose season opening monologue about the merits of the aforementioned nail gun should earn her an award.

Anonymous said...

The Wire is one of the best shows on TV, if not "the" best.

JT said...

So far I've found the wire extremely difficult to get into when you haven't seen it before and are switching over to football or baseball when you watch. Yet, beyond the ridiculously over-the-top reviews it's been getting lately, everyone I know who watches it loves it.

I need to get it on DVD or catch HBO when they are running a marathon.

Katie T said...

LMFAO

Too bad about the ick-sushi...that really is murder...