Thursday, October 26, 2006

Campbell's celebrity assault record now in doubt

Sometimes numbers sneak up on you. I remember being quite surprised when I heard Rafael Palmeiro was on the verge of compiling 600 home runs and 3000 hits -- a feat only accomplished twice before in baseball history.

I follow baseball closely so I should have seen it coming. My only explanation is it must have been difficult for my brain to subconsciously reconcile the enormity of that accomplishment with the quality of player Palmeiro really was.

It didn't surprise me when I read British model Naomi Campbell is being questioned about her involvement in an assault. Campbell has a history of violent behavior. What shocked me was this was her ninth
assault rap in the past eight years.

I would have guessed it was her third. And three assaults would be plenty to cement her reputation as a woman completely out of control.

As far as I know there are no official statistics kept on celebrity assault. But I assume the standard bearer is Sean Penn, who ran rickshaw through the eighties. Yet his
bio only reveals two assaults. Russell Crowe is known to have an explosive temper, but I can only count three instances of him using his hands in real life.

Naomi Campbell has nine. And they aren't of the slap and tickle variety you'd expect from a super-model. They usually involve blood. Twice she administered the beat-down with a blunt object.

While her victims have generally been of the personal assistant/maid variety, her latest target was her drug counsellor.

Which suggests, like Palmeiro, Campbell has used performance enhancing substances to dart to statistical heights no one in their right mind could have imagined for her.

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