A good way for ugly people to mess with strangers

On Friday evening I set off from my apartment to the metro. Most of the walk is along the same road. When I turned onto it, I noticed there was woman about five paces in front of me and on the other side.

She kept looking back at me as she walked. At first I figured she must think she knows me. I was sure I didn't know her and, although my vision was somewhat obscured by the tapering dusk, pretty sure I didn't want to.

When we passed the first cross street she stared back at me again -- this time with a look of distress on her face.

"My God," I thought to myself. "She actually thinks I'm following her." To make matters worse she was probably also heading to the metro, so there would be a whole lot more perceived tailing going on.

I thought about speeding up and passing her so I could put an end to her ridiculous suspicion. That was about when she started speeding up. Maybe I could slow down? No, then I might miss the train and end up being late to where I was going.

So I just gritted my teeth -- the violent facial expression surely added to her irrational fear.

Of course she was headed for the metro, glancing behind worriedly the whole time. The metro station has two long, descending escalators and I used the one she didn't pick to get past her. I got on the train and forgot all about it.

I got off at a crowded stop. Moving against traffic to get to my exit, who do I almost bump into but the woman from the street. Now she shoots me a self-satisfied smirk. As if to say "ha ha, you were following me, but in this crowded train station you can't do all the awful, kinky things you had planned for me."

My initial assessment of her attractiveness, or lack thereof, was correct. Meaning a very homely woman had pegged me -- at first glance -- as the kind of guy who had nothing better to do on a Friday night but stalk her.

It was quite a blow to my ego and not the way I would have wanted to start a long night of socializing.

I even had to leave the station at the wrong exit to avoid feeding her arrogant, insulting suspicion any further.