Monday, October 09, 2006

Myoglobin possibly makes celebutantes less catty

Kim Jong Il tried. But the latest seismic readings suggest his nuclear test may have been a dud. Or he was just getting rid of the bottle rockets left over from last month's independence day celebration.

The lil' fella had to go through the charade of blowing up a ditch to grab the world's attention. All Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie had to do was be
seen together at a Los Angeles steakhouse.

While the world condemned Kim Jong's pyrotechnic psychosis, the world rejoiced when it learned the Simple Life co-stars had buried the hatchet after a nasty year-plus feud. What had put them at odds was never revealed.

I'm sure I wasn't the only one to note a steakhouse would be the last place you'd expect two super-skinny socialites to kiss and make up.

This got me thinking about famous unresolved feuds of the past. Soon I was trying to figure out the most improbable venues for would-have-been reconciliation of these historic conflicts.

Like if the
Hatfields and McCoys had resolved their legendary backwood blood feud on a luxury locomotive ride between New York and Newport, or if Biggie and 2Pac had become boys during a round of golf at Augusta National Country Club.

A quick inventory of the current crop of important unresolved feuds reveal they almost all involve either Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.

Meaning, these days, a safe bet would always be the steakhouse.

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