Future Miss JSB update

I've been trying to track down news about disgraced, soon-to-be ex-Miss USA Tara Conner all day now. I've run into a lot of message board speculation concerning nakedness, the open use of cocaine, and a bevy of sexual activity. But you can't trust what you read on the message boards.

So I went up one slight click on the reliability paradigm and turned to the New York Post, which reports Conner's "inappropriate" behavior involves "making Paris Hilton look like a baby" and being "romantically linked" to many people. They also confirm she is on the outs with pageant officials.

Sadly, Conner's Miss USA replacement lacks her good looks, spunk and porntasticness. In fact, first runner-up Tamika Nash is a wax statue. So while Nash won't embarrass pageant officials by blowing rails off of the bar, she will need to be dusted off at least every two weeks.

If you haven't gathered already, I'm a Tara Conner fan. I don't usually like to admit these things and undermine my world-renown objectivity, but it's Friday. I'm so much of a fan, in fact, I have invited Tara to jsb's first annual New Year's party.

So far it's just me and her, so she better show.