Monday, January 29, 2007

He just wants to get back in time for bingo

To the best of my knowledge this is a picture of Paris Hilton, Nikki Hilton, Nicole Richie, Michael Jackson and an elderly ethnic man who breathes with the aid of an oxygen tank. Judging by the martini glass in the front right corner they seem to be at a party.

Why, why, why is the elderly ethnic man with the oxygen tank at the same party as these specimens? Did he win a raffle at the convalescence home? If so, what kind of sick freak raffles such a scenario off to dying old people?

Or, it occurs to me, he could be Jackson's oxygen tank tester. That Jackson would have an oxygen tank tester is no stretch. The advantage of employing a dying old person in this role is his weak constitution would provide the perfect canary in the coal mine for all sorts of poisons -- Michael Jackson's no dummy.

And, of course, the advantage to hiring a dying old person of dubious immigration status as an oxygen tank tester is you don't have to pay him anywhere near minimum wage.

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