Monday, January 08, 2007

Britney Spears no longer looks like this

It's been a tough couple months for Britney Spears. Following her divorce from Kevin Federline -- which reminded a scornful nation that she was married to Kevin Federline -- Britney has been publicly dumped by her largest Internet fan club and there is late word her record label is contemplating doing the same.

Even more notoriously, the former pop-princess -- and eighth best selling female artist in American music history -- closed 2006 by embarking on a parade of pantyless* partying that was far less titillating than one would have imagined back when we met Britney as a barely-legal vixen wearing a Catholic school girl uniform and
pouting over the end of a masochistic sexual relationship.

In fact, photographic evidence of her new unsanitary habit -- along with images of a certain former dictator at the end of his rope -- have made the Internet a far creepier place than it was before.

2007 has been even worse for Britney, with rumors of rehab bolstered by a new series of fully-clothed photographs so ghastly that chivalry and consideration for my readers have prevented me from linking them, and have sent me scouring the Internet for the best, most airbrushed photo of Britney I could find in hopes it would cleanse my eyes from what I had the misfortune of seeing.

Now the Las Vegas club that was going to pay Britney 400,000 dollars for appearing at their New Year's party is threatening to
withhold payment because, by passing out and leaving early, Britney didn't fulfill her contractual obligation.

So, in addition to all of her other problems, Britney is now being held to a higher standard of business ethics than say . . . large American corporations fulfilling government contracts in Iraq.

Dark and breezy days for the former Mouseketeer.

*Because I'm not sure how to spell it (and don't think it's a real word,) I did a Google search to find out how others have decided to spell "pantyless." It's safe to say Britney owns "pantyless" like Tony Romo is about to own "butterfingers."

No comments: