Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Idle threat of the week

Busy celebrating diversity, the panel of judges wasn't able to submit their ballots for Idle Threat of the Week yesterday. But they got their act together this morning and realized Dr. King's dream by recognizing Los Angeles based hip-hop artist The Game, not for the color of his skin, but for the lack of content in his threats.

The Game is known in hip-hop circles for his many "feuds" with other urban recording artists. Hip-hop feuds are generally based on an over-inflated sense of geographical pride, disregard for a rival's lyrical skills, differing schools of thoughts on what encompasses "street credibility" and issues pertaining to "respect" and "disrespect."

Although these beefs -- which usually include threats of violence -- are thought to be largely for marketing purposes, the panel has always been reluctant to award hip-hop feuders with Idle Threat mentions because the odd verbal battle will, in fact, spiral out of control and leave one or more if its participants dead.

But The Game ventured outside the world of hip-hop when he issued his latest threat,
warning LA's newest resident David Beckham that:

"I'd kick David Beckham's ass on any given day. I'd just pick the ball up and kick the shit out of the stadium, game over."

The panel doesn't doubt, troops of massive bodyguards aside, The Game could kick a very pretty man such as David Beckham's ass, even on a sluggish Monday. But the panel is completely puzzled by the next line in his threat.

At this point is The Game threatening to:

a) Kick the shit (as in inflict damage) out of the stadium, ending the game because there is no longer a stadium?
b) Kick the ball out of the stadium, ending the game because there is no longer a ball?
c) Kick David Beckham out of the stadium, ending the game because there is no longer a well-coifed English soccer import?

We ask because no one on the panel has any idea. What we do know is even the genetically engineered bastard child of Ray Guy and Reggie Roby would be hard-pressed to accomplish B, and would have no chance at all at pulling off C.

As for A -- go for it buddy but, in our experience, very rarely does a man come away with victory in a foot-first battle against a massive, stable physical structure.

While incoherence does not always add up to idleness, in this case we are comfortable in our assumption that it does. Especially since The Game is a type of a writer by trade and has a lot of previous experience in making threats, so one would expect for him to make some semblance of sense if he actually meant it.

Oddly, The Game is nothing but complimentary of Beckham's declining soccer skills.

The Game usually saves his harshest words for his main rival, 50 Cent. And now Mr. Game has something Mr. Cent will never posses: Idle Threat of the Week for January 8 to 14.

1 comment:

Katie T said...

Hahahahahaha!! I'd pay to see him and the stadium go at it. Nice breakdown of his threat - it definitely made me giggle.