Water -- it causes urination

Corner me with a clipboard, and I'll immediately sign any petition -- as long as doing so will spare me the 30 second pitch and allow me to extract myself from the situation with both our dignities still intact.

Sure, any information I leave will be completely made up, but the horror of being trapped by a brainwashed foot solider of an important cause would have rendered my handwriting illegible, regardless.

As Penn and Teller find out in this clip, the best place to go if you need a lot of signatures for some, any, reason is an environmental rally. You don't even have to sneak up on anyone. . .