Catfight!

So you're a big man on campus type college basketball stud. You play for the defending national champions, and were the star and revelation of last year's March Madness.

But you still feel it. You know what they see: The way you sashay up and down the court. The casual contact that sends your weak body sprawling to the floor. The long hair. The being French.

You know what they are thinking. And it's pure jealously. Of the money to come. Of the primo University of Florida tail that comes and finds you.

You try not to let it get to you. What they think. But it does. More and more, you start defining yourself by what they think. It starts to take you forever to get ready to go out. Your cell phone bill is astronomical. And the menstrual cramps. They suck.

So you're playing in one of your basketball matches. This bitch UK cheerleader keeps staring at Al Horford, even though he is totally standing next to you. And then you get knocked over again and there she is -- the whore cheerleader -- sticking her pom-pom in your face.

A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. (The full slaptastic video is here)

I blatantly ripped those photos from some site, but I can't remember which one and they seemed to have been getting plenty of traffic without me.