Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Jenna Jameson suffers the cruelest cut of all

Sad news from the world of adult entertainment: Jenna Jameson, best selling author and America's foremost porn actress, may be forced out of the business as a result of a vaginaplosty gone wrong. This weekend Jameson did nothing to quell the rumors of botched surgery by appearing at the Exxxotica Convention in Miami Beach weighing a skeletal 40 pounds less than her professional weight. The usually vivacious and fan-friendly star was also reportedly unprofessional and, at times, surly.

I've stumbled upon enough porn to know that the girls with butchered breast augmentations are still allowed to perform, so I can only imagine the horror of a mangled vaginaplosty -- a procedure I was not aware existed until today.

Some might think Jameson, 32, was entering into the twilight of her career anyway. I have to disagree. Just like baseball players are peaking at a later and later age every generation, better diets, exercise, performance enhancing drugs and surgery must be keeping our porn stars looking and feeling young well into their thirties.

Why couldn't have Jameson continued to dominate the porn game by combining her frozen-in-time looks with the technical precision and the -- yes I said it -- acting chops she has gleamed from 14 years in the business?

I wouldn't bet against her -- if she still had a good vagina, that is.

In our society the word tragedy is bandied about way too lightly. And this, this is no tragedy. But by publishing words such as porn and vagina onto my blog it increases the chances I will attract more awkward and hilarious Google searches along the lines of sexy vagina pornography.

These searches always seem to come from Iran or Saudi Arabia. I get a real kick out of that.


Anonymous said...

Pacman Jones just suffered a crueler cut. I’m betting Jameson has both banked more of her earnings than Jones, and has a better chance of again plying her trade on a professional level.

JT said...

And at least Jameson still has fans. I doubt the NFLPA will even stand up for Pacman.