Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Drug hysteria has never tasted so good

Before climate change dropped it like it was a 40 ton grease-slicked hot potato, the crystal meth epidemic was by far my favorite over-hyped scare phenomenon.

It all seems so quaint now, gangs of bug-eyed Midwesterners wandering the nation like excitable zombies, toothlessly knocking over convenience stores and local social services. Especially when compared to the horrors of scorching heat, giant tidal waves and raining frogs.

But the meth-madness crowd won't give up without a fight. In fact, they pulled exactly the same move breakfast cereal manufactures do when a brand goes stale: They added more sugar.

The new fear is devious meth dealers, in an attempt to hook 'em young and sweet-toothed, are adding candy flavoring to their product. What impresses me most about this theory -- which I hesitate to call baseless, but would be willing to wager on being highly anecdotal -- is that it adds to the meth epidemic the fable of the super-aggressive drug "pusher," and even throws in a touch of that old poisoned-trick-or-treat-candy campfire story.

Will it be enough to push the meth epidemic back into prominence? I doubt it. But I'm giving points for the effort. Strawberry flavored points.

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