Drunk? The Hoff?

The new trend of leaking recordings of uncomfortable celebrity-daughter encounters in an attempt to get a leg up in a custody hearing or a divorce is sick sick sick. And I think that's what's behind the release of this heartbreaking video of David Hasslehoff's daughter begging her soon-to-be divorced dad to stop dancing with the demon rum. I would have never run it on this space if I didn't think it holds the answers to a few of life's most vexing questions:

1. Baywatch actors are as semi-naked in real life as they are patrolling the fictional beaches of Los Angeles County. Impressively, this semi-nakedness continues even after the show has been cancelled.

2. The Hoff lives in a sideways, furniture-free world. Which goes a long way to explaining his ability to speak to cars and his overwhelming popularity in Germany.