Snap Judgement: When Larry met Paris

Forgive me for thinking an interview involving Larry King -- a senile old man who last night confused Ringo, the funny Beatle, with George, the dead Beatle, -- and Paris Hilton, who is
Paris Hilton, might be somewhat entertaining or at least highly lampoonable.

Boy was I wrong. On both counts. And anyone who disagrees should probably be kept away from too much growing grass or drying paint.

OK, the part when King referred to the notes Paris kept in prison as "extraordinary" (they weren't) was kind of funny.

Under the microscope of an hour long interview it turns out that Paris is neither particularly dumb nor remotely interesting. Despite a limited vocabulary she's actually fairly articulate, but in an unexciting media savvy sort of way. King, who must have agreed not to ask her about her famous sex tape, couldn't even get Paris to admit to taking more than the occasional drink, let alone reveal details of the party lifestyle that fuels the world's fascination with the heiress.

King's best half-hearted efforts didn't compel Paris to dish on other celebrities, or cry, or acknowledge a devastating Adderall addiction King was oddly obsessed with, or talk of saving the world, or even seem all that regretful for a crime that, I guess, nobody should feel all that sorry for committing. King did skillfully get Paris to concede prison can be scary at first, and that she has been "changed" by her experience.

The biggest loser in this much ballyhooed snooze fest was Anderson Cooper. Since Cooper's show follows King's, he was tasked with leading a panel discussion wrap up of what may have been the most boring interview in the history of (semi) intelligent lifeforms. I can't say I stuck around to see what Cooper was able to do with it. If you did, God help you.