John McCain probably thinks you're gay

There are a lot of things that go into the failing of a political campaign. Most prominently a lack of funds, bad poll numbers and a candidate showing hints of dementia. But, when a campaign does implode, those in the political analysis game will be looking outside the box for the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

Could it be, when the pundits reflect upon the wreckage of McCain 08, that they will be forced to conclude the Senator's humpy spine of a presidential dream was cracked by homosexual outerwear?

Apparently the sudden exodus of campaign personnel that has everyone severely downgrading McCain's already dwindling chances was sparked by a series of tirades McCain directed at his staff. Among his accusations were that his handlers forced him, in a misguided attempt to shave years off the septuagenarian's appearance, to wear an onslaught of "gay" sweaters.

Maybe it's a generational thing, but I find McCain's charge confusing on both counts: I simply don't associate excessive sweater wearing with either the gay or the young. In fact, it immediately conjures up an image of a middle-aged African American doctor who imparts curmudgeonly but lovable morsels of wisdom from his well-appointed brownstone while shilling pudding pops on the side. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

But I will say this: Tying a sweater around your waist does clash a bit with traditional heterosexuality. The look is a bit skirty, if you ask me. So if McCain's people were booking him into stuffy halls without providing the Senator with some sort of sweater holding staffer to handle the garment in question when things started to heat up, I could see the point McCain was trying to make.