Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Lindsay Lohan got in trouble last night

If you are like me your morning has become paralyzed as you await the latest details of Lindsay Lohan's latest arrest. It is no surprise that it was the unholy trinity of alcohol, cocaine and-insisting-to-drive-your-own-car-even-though-you-are-a-celebrity-of-financial-means-who-everybody-knows-is-always-drunk-and-has-a- bodyguard-and-an-entourage-that-could-surely-drive-you-even-if-you-don't-want-to-hire-a-proper-chauffeur that did her in. To top it off, it appears Lindsay had the poor judgement of drawing attention to herself by participating in a late night high speed car chase -- as the chaser.

On one hand I am little disappointed. I was sincerely hoping Lindsay was going to use the challenge of wearing an alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet (which apparently doesn't work) to take getting high to new and undetectable places, and not fall back so quickly on the old standbys. On the other hand I really like Lindsay's mugshot. I already know I am way in the minority here -- and man, people can be cruel -- but, I ask, what exactly do you want a drunk coked up girl to look like at 2:30 in the morning?

What I see in Lindsay's freckled face is the gaze of slightly confused compliance that has had men feeding women inebriants since the beginning of time. When you hate on Lindsay's mugshot you are only hating on humanity.

Lindsay's arrest came right on the heels of her being arraigned for her last alcohol/coke/car incident. Meaning, if she is held to Los Angeles County's Paris Hilton standard, she is going to be going away for a long time.

But at JSB we've always held Lindsay, who's cute and possibly talented, to a higher standard than Paris --that do-nothing space alien looking creature. So, as Lindsay begins what is sure to be a meticulously documented journey through our criminal justice system, I'm pulling for Lindsay to outdo Paris in every way.

Sure, that could mean a display of dignity and genuine regret. But what's fun about that?

I think the words "legendary implosion" are sometimes thrown around too lightly in these times of hype and hyperbole. But if the very, very latest report -- that Lindsay was chasing down the mother of her assistant who then called the police because I assume she feared Lindsay was trying to run her down -- is true, we may well be headed in that heady direction.

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