Monday, September 17, 2007

Idle threat of the week

Say what you will about OJ Simpson, but as a high profile double murderer he has few peers. Not only was he able to kill two people in the shadow of a well-trafficked condominium complex, but, despite displaying in the murder's aftermath all the markings of a guilty man , and leaving enough incriminating forensic evidence to fuel an entire CSI series, Simpson was famously acquitted of his crime.

Well, it looks like spending the last decade with an increasingly lower grade of sycophant has turned OJ's brain to mush. Last week the Hall of Fame running back, who was once able to end two human lives with only the help of knife set readily available at the local Bed Bath and Beyond, required four accomplishes and a host of firearms to shake down a man Simpson believed was in improper possession of some of his memorabilia.

Didn't Simpson know merely the sight of his size 12 Bruno Magli shoes and maybe a flash of Isotoner glove would have been enough to convince the most hardened broker of celebrity merchandise that framed photos -- even framed photos of notorious murderer OJ Simpson posing with notorious FBI chief J. Egdar Hoover -- aren't worth dying a bloody death in a cheap Vegas hotel room?

The truth is an OJ Simpson with his wits about him could run roughshod through the quasi-legal backroom world of memorabilia. Instead The Juice has managed to get himself arrested, faces up to 100 years in prison, and will not be granted bail.

While I doubt he will get anything like 100 years, and would even bet it is more likely than not the charges will eventually be dropped, OJ Simpson's pathetic attempt at coercion and robbery -- roles he should be uniquely suited -- has garnered him Idle Threat of The Week for September 10-16. Yet another award that will one day be in the hands of a shady memorabilia dealer.

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